Celebrity Net Worth / Celebrities / Woody Allen Net Worth
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Woody Allen Net Worth

How rich is Woody Allen?

Woody Allen net worth:
$70 Million

Woody Allen information

Woody Allen information

Julie Gold

Beth Ostrosky Stern

Cary Fukunaga

Tom Hooper

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Woody Allen net worth & biography:

 

Woody Allen is well known among the most effective and talented movie directors. This involvement increases the overall level of Woody Allen net-worth by a mile. At Present, Woody Allen net worth is known to attain an estimate of 65 million dollars. Not only is it a film director, he is also known as a screen writer, playwright, actor and composer. Woody Allen is believed to become one of the icons within the film sector.
He’s been involved into film for more than half century and his job in it has been assessed with lots of awards. He started his career for a comic in 50s when he began writing scripts for comedy shows as well as released several publications related to comedy. In 60’s, Woody Allen became a stand-up comic. One of many features which recognized him from stand-up comedians of the time was that during his shows he used more monologues than just conventional jokes. In 2004, Woody Allen got the fourth position in the list of the Top 100 stand-up comedians which was made from the Comedy Central channel. Therefore, humor is one of the very most important sources of Woody Allen net worth which deliver millions of dollars to it.

Woody Allen Net-Worth – 65 Million Dollars

In the middle of 1960s Woody Allen started writing more advanced scripts for comedies and only later he shifted and started display writing for much more dramatic films. In addition, he also occasionally seems in his own films. The most well-known pictures of the screen writer include “Midnight in Paris”, “Annie Hall” and “Hannah and Her Sisters”. These movies also raised the overall number of Woody Allen net worth a lot. Cinema critic Roger Ebert even described Woody Allen as ‘a gem of the cinema’. Along with his career in cinema, Woody Allen is also referred to as a musician. He plays clarinet in a few occasions in Manhattan.
Woody Allen was born in Brooklyn, Big Apple, to his mom who was bookkeeper and also to his dad who engraved jewellery and worked as a waiter, at the same time. His parents asserted all the time and he did not get along well with his mum in the slightest. Consequently, he was immediately chosen to be a part of his baseball team at school.


More about Woody Allen:

  • Filmography
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Writer

Writer

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Untitled Woody Allen Project2016pre-production
Untitled Woody Allen ProjectTV Series created by - 6 episodes, 2016 written by - 6 episodes, 2016 announced
Irrational Man2015written by
Magic in the Moonlight2014written by
Blue Jasmine2013written by
To Rome with Love2012written by
Vidurnaktis Paryziuje2011written by
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger2010written by
Sdelka2009Short play
Whatever Works2009written by
Viki, Kristina, Barselona2008written by
Cassandra's Dream2007written by
Scoop2006written by
Match Point2005written by
Melinda and Melinda2004written by
Anything Else2003written by
Hollywood Ending2002written by
Sounds from a Town I Love2001TV Short
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion2001written by
Small Time Crooks2000written by
Sweet and Lowdown1999written by
Celebrity1998written by
Count Mercury Goes to the Suburbs1997Short story "Count Dracula"
Deconstructing Harry1997written by
Everyone Says I Love You1996written by
Mighty Aphrodite1995written by
Une aspirine pour deux1995TV Movie play
Don't Drink the Water1994TV Movie play / teleplay
Bullets Over Broadway1994written by
Manhattan Murder Mystery1993written by
Husbands and Wives1992written by
Shadows and Fog1991written by
Alice1990written by
Somebody or The Rise and Fall of Philosophy1989Short story "Mr Big"
Crimes and Misdemeanors1989written by
New York Stories1989written by - segment "Oedipus Wrecks"
Another Woman1988written by
September1987written by
Radio Days1987written by
Meeting Woody Allen1986Documentary short
Hannah and Her Sisters1986written by
The Purple Rose of Cairo1985written by
Broadway Danny Rose1984written by
Zelig1983written by
A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy1982written by
The Subtil Concept1981Short story "Mr Big"
Stardust Memories1980written by
Manhattan1979written by
Interiors1978written by
Annie Hall1977written by
Love and Death1975written by
Sleeper1973written by
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask1972written for the screen by
Play It Again, Sam1972based on the play by / screenplay
Men of Crisis: The Harvey Wallinger Story1971TV Short
Bananas1971written by
Pussycat, Pussycat, I Love You1970screenplay "What's New, Pussycat?"
Don't Drink the Water1969play / screenplay
The Woody Allen Special1969TV Special documentary writer
Take the Money and Run1969original screenplay
The Kraft Music Hall1967TV Series Woody Allen's material - 1 episode
Casino Royale1967uncredited
The World: Color It Happy1967TV Movie written by
What's Up, Tiger Lily?1966
Gene Kelly in New York, New York1966TV Movie
What's New Pussycat1965original screenplay
The Sid Caesar Show1963TV Series uncredited
The Laughmakers1962TV Short
The Garry Moore Show1961TV Series 1 episode
Candid Camera1960/ITV Series
General Electric Theater1960TV Series 1 episode
Hooray for Love1960TV Movie
At the Movies1959TV Movie
The Sid Caesar Show1958TV Movie writer
Stanley1956TV Series
The Colgate Comedy Hour1950TV Series uncredited

Director

Director

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Irrational Man2015
Magic in the Moonlight2014
Blue Jasmine2013
To Rome with Love2012
Vidurnaktis Paryziuje2011
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger2010
Whatever Works2009
Viki, Kristina, Barselona2008
Cassandra's Dream2007
Scoop2006
Match Point2005
Melinda and Melinda2004
Anything Else2003
Hollywood Ending2002
Sounds from a Town I Love2001TV Short
The Concert for New York City2001TV Special documentary segment "Sounds from the Town I Love"
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion2001
Small Time Crooks2000
Sweet and Lowdown1999
Celebrity1998
Deconstructing Harry1997
Everyone Says I Love You1996
Mighty Aphrodite1995
Don't Drink the Water1994TV Movie
Bullets Over Broadway1994
Manhattan Murder Mystery1993
Husbands and Wives1992
Shadows and Fog1991
Alice1990
Crimes and Misdemeanors1989
New York Stories1989segment "Oedipus Wrecks"
Another Woman1988
September1987
Radio Days1987
Hannah and Her Sisters1986
The Purple Rose of Cairo1985
Broadway Danny Rose1984
Zelig1983
A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy1982
Stardust Memories1980
Manhattan1979
Interiors1978
Annie Hall1977
Love and Death1975
Sleeper1973
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask1972
Men of Crisis: The Harvey Wallinger Story1971TV Short
Bananas1971
Take the Money and Run1969
What's Up, Tiger Lily?1966
Untitled Woody Allen Project2016pre-production
Untitled Woody Allen Project2016TV Series 6 episodes announced

Actor

Actor

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Barcelona, la rosa de foc2014English version, voice
Fading Gigolo2013Murray
To Rome with Love2012Jerry
Paris-Manhattan2012Woody Allen (uncredited)
Scoop2006Sid Waterman
Anything Else2003David Dobel
Hollywood Ending2002Val
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion2001CW Briggs
Picking Up the Pieces2000Tex Cowley
Small Time Crooks2000Ray
Company Man2000Lowther (uncredited)
Antz1998Z (voice)
The Impostors1998Audition Director (uncredited)
Deconstructing Harry1997Harry Block
Everyone Says I Love You1996Joe
The Sunshine Boys1996TV MovieAl Lewis
Mighty Aphrodite1995Lenny
Don't Drink the Water1994TV MovieWalter Hollander
Manhattan Murder Mystery1993Larry Lipton
Husbands and Wives1992Gabe Roth
Shadows and Fog1991Kleinman
Scenes from a Mall1991Nick Fifer
Crimes and Misdemeanors1989Cliff Stern
New York Stories1989Sheldon (segment "Oedipus Wrecks")
King Lear1987Mr. Alien (uncredited)
Radio Days1987The Narrator (voice, uncredited)
Hannah and Her Sisters1986Mickey
Broadway Danny Rose1984Danny Rose
Zelig1983Leonard Zelig
A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy1982Andrew
Stardust Memories1980Sandy Bates
Manhattan1979Isaac
Annie Hall1977Alvy Singer
The Front1976Howard Prince
Love and Death1975Boris
Sleeper1973Miles Monroe
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask1972Victor / Fabrizio / The Fool / ...
Play It Again, Sam1972Allan
Men of Crisis: The Harvey Wallinger Story1971TV ShortHarvey Wallinger
Bananas1971Fielding Mellish
Hot Dog1970TV SeriesRegular (1970-71)
Take the Money and Run1969Virgil Starkwell
Casino Royale1967Jimmy Bond (Dr. Noah)
The World: Color It Happy1967TV Movie
What's New Pussycat1965Victor

Soundtrack

Soundtrack

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Montreal Writer2002Documentary short "Last Night on My Back Porch"
Antz1998performer: "Almost Like Being in Love"
Deconstructing Harry1997performer: "When the Red Red Robin Comes Bob Bob Bobbin' Along" 1926
Everyone Says I Love You1996performer: "I'm Thru With Love" 1931
Sleeper1973performer: "Till We Meet Again" 1918 - uncredited
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask1972performer: "Red River Valley" pub. 1896 - uncredited

Composer

Composer

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Sleeper1973music by

Music Department

Music Department

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Wild Man Blues1997Documentary musician: clarinet

Producer

Producer

TitleYearStatusCharacter
What's Up, Tiger Lily?1966associate producer

Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous

TitleYearStatusCharacter
The Sorrow and the Pity1969Documentary presenter - 2000 version

Thanks

Thanks

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Teacher of the Year2014grateful thanks
Edén2014special thanks
A Saturday Is a Terrible Thing to Waste2013Short thanks
Amelia, I Love You2013Short special thanks
Louis C.K. Oh My God2013TV Special thank you
Subaru2013Short thanks
Christ Complex2012special thanks
Plus or Minus (+/-)2012Short special thanks
Woody Before Allen2011Documentary short special thanks
The Quincy Rose Show2011Short special thanks
The Alumni Chapter2011special thanks
Decathexis2010Short grateful acknowledgment
Variations on a High School Romance2010inspirational thanks
Explicit Ills2008special thanks
Love and Mary2007special thanks
Home2006/IIIDocumentary very special thanks
Paris, je t'aime2006thanks
The Devil and Daniel Johnston2005Documentary thanks
Burning Annie2004grateful acknowledgment
AFI's 100 Years... 100 Passions: America's Greatest Love Stories2002TV Special documentary thanks
The Man Who Never Had a Girlfriend2001TV Movie documentary inspired by
Anita Takes a Chance2001grateful acknowledgment
Beyond the Mat1999Documentary personal thanks
Judy Berlin1999thanks
After Eight1998Short special thanks
Crossing the Bridge1992thanks
Ucieczka z kina 'Wolnosc'1990acknowledgment

Self

Self

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Les nouveaux rendez-vous1980TV SeriesHimself
Question de temps: Une heure avec Woody Allen1979TV MovieHimself
Escenari1979TV SeriesHimself
Bitte umblättern1978TV Series documentaryHimself
The South Bank Show1978TV Series documentaryHimself - Interviewee
Hollywood's Diamond Jubilee1978TV MovieHimself - Interview
Up Close1978TV SeriesHimself
V.I.P.-Schaukel1977TV Series documentaryHimself
Arena1977TV Series documentaryHimself - Interviewee
The Making of 'The Front'1976TV Movie documentaryHimself
The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson1963-1972TV SeriesHimself / Himself - Guest Host / Himself - Guest
The Dick Cavett Show1969-1971TV SeriesHimself
Cinema1971TV Series documentaryHimself - Interviewee
The David Frost Show1969-1971TV SeriesHimself
Plimpton! Did You Hear the One About?1971TV Movie documentaryHimself
Fight of the Century1971TV MovieHimself - Audience Member
Hot Dog1970TV SeriesHimself
Frost on Sunday1970TV SeriesHimself
The Joe Namath Show1969TV SeriesHimself
The Ed Sullivan Show1965-1969TV SeriesHimself / Himself - Comedian
The Woody Allen Special1969TV Special documentaryHimself / Various
The Merv Griffin Show1962-1969TV SeriesHimself / Himself - Guest
The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour1968TV SeriesHimself
The Kraft Music Hall1967TV SeriesHimself - Host
The First Annual All Star-Celebrity Softball Game1967TV MovieHimself - Player
The Dean Martin Show1967TV SeriesHimself
What's My Line?1963-1967TV SeriesHimself - Guest Panelist / Himself - Mystery Guest
Our Place1967TV SeriesHimself - Guest
I've Got a Secret1964-1967TV SeriesHimself / Himself - Guest Panelist
Gypsy1966TV SeriesHimself
What's Up, Tiger Lily?1966Himself / Dub Voice / Projectionist
Hippodrome1966TV SeriesHimself - Host / Himself - Host (show 3)
Dusty1966TV SeriesHimself - Special Guest
The Eamonn Andrews Show1964-1966TV SeriesHimself
Gene Kelly in New York, New York1966TV MovieHimself
The Andy Williams Show1965TV SeriesHimself
Password All-Stars1965TV SeriesHimself
The Best on Record1965TV SpecialHimself
Hullabaloo1965TV SeriesHimself
Perry Como's Kraft Music Hall1965TV SeriesHimself - Guest
The Woody Allen Show1965TV ShortHimself
Missing Links1964TV SeriesHimself
The Jack Paar Program1962-1964TV SeriesHimself
That Was the Week That Was1964TV SeriesHimself
The New Steve Allen Show1963TV SeriesHimself / Himself - Comedian
The Jack Paar Tonight Show1962TV SeriesHimself
The Pat Boone-Chevy Showroom1960TV SeriesHimself
10 Minutes in America2014TV Movie documentaryHimself
Janela Indiscreta2012-2014TV SeriesHimself
The Oscars2014TV SpecialHimself - Nominee: Best Original Screenplay (credit only)
The 2014 Film Independent Spirit Awards2014TV SpecialHimself - Nominee (credit only)
71st Golden Globe Awards2014TV SpecialHimself - Cecil B DeMille Award Recipient (credit only)
David Blaine: Real or Magic2013TV MovieHimself
Marvin Hamlisch: What He Did for Love2013DocumentaryHimself
Trespassing Bergman2013DocumentaryHimself - Interviewee
The Unbelievers2013DocumentaryHimself
Días de cine1996-2012TV SeriesHimself
Cinema 31994-2012TV SeriesHimself
Casting By2012DocumentaryHimself
Le grand journal de Canal+2009-2012TV SeriesHimself
20 heures le journal2012TV SeriesHimself
Woody Allen: A Documentary2012DocumentaryHimself
Namath2012TV Movie documentaryHimself
American Masters2011TV Series documentaryHimself
Daybreak2011TV SeriesHimself
Woody Before Allen2011Documentary shortHimself
Cannes Film Festival 20112011TV MovieHimself
Episódio Especial2011TV SeriesHimself
Moi, ma famille rom et Woody Allen2010TV Movie documentaryHimself
Entertainment Tonight2003-2010TV SeriesHimself
Gomorron2010TV SeriesHimself - Om You will meet a tall dark stranger
Cannes Film Festival 20102010TV MovieHimself
...But Film is My Mistress2010Himself
Life Is Bearable at Times...2010DocumentaryHimself
30 for 302010TV Series documentaryHimself
Access Hollywood2008-2009TV SeriesHimself
Vittorio D.2009DocumentaryHimself
Top star magazín2009TV SeriesHimself
At the Movies2008TV SeriesHimself
Música de cine2008TV Movie documentaryHimself
Resumen - 56º festival internacional de cine de San Sebastián2008TV MovieHimself
Èxit2008TV SeriesHimself
Silenci?2003-2008TV SeriesHimself
El club2008TV SeriesHimself
Ceremonia de inauguración - 56º Festival internacional de cine de San Sebastián2008TV MovieHimself
Seitenblicke2008TV Series documentaryHimself
Los 40 del Príncipe2008TV MovieHimself
Speechless2008TV Movie documentaryHimself
Sophia: Ieri, oggi, domani2007DocumentaryHimself
To My Great Chagrin: The Unbelievable Story of Brother Theodore2007DocumentaryHimself
Glass: A Portrait of Philip in Twelve Parts2007DocumentaryHimself
La nit al dia2007TV SeriesHimself
Home2006/IIIDocumentaryHimself (uncredited)
XX premios Goya2006TV SpecialHimself - Winner: Best European Film (Taped)
Film 20151978-2006TV SeriesHimself / Himself - Interviewee
On the Trail of Sigmund Freud2005TV Movie documentaryHimself
The Andrew Marr Show2005TV SeriesHimself
Corazón de...2005TV SeriesHimself
Filmmakers in Action2005DocumentaryHimself
The Ballad of Greenwich Village2005DocumentaryHimself
Filmmakers vs. Tycoons2005DocumentaryHimself
The Outsider2005DocumentaryHimself
The Culture Show2005TV Series documentaryHimself
Estravagario2004TV SeriesHimself
Ceremonia de apertura del festival de cine de San Sebastián2004TV MovieHimself - Honoree
François Truffaut, une autobiographie2004TV Movie documentaryHimself
Je t'aime... moi non plus: Artistes et critiques2004DocumentaryHimself
Sid Caesar Collection: Buried Treasures - Shining Stars2003VideoHimself
Sid Caesar Collection: Buried Treasures - The Impact of Sid Caesar2003VideoHimself
Sid Caesar Collection: Buried Treasures - The Legend of Sid Caesar2003VideoHimself
Charlie: The Life and Art of Charles Chaplin2003DocumentaryHimself - Director / Writer / Actor
100 Years of Hope and Humor2003TV SpecialHimself
Last Laugh2003TV MovieHimself
Biography1996-2003TV Series documentaryHimself
Die Harald Schmidt Show2002TV SeriesHimself
Woody Allen: A Life in Film2002TV Movie documentaryHimself
Estudio de actores2002TV SeriesHimself
The 74th Annual Academy Awards2002TV SpecialHimself - Presenter: New York Tribute
The Magic of Fellini2002TV Movie documentaryHimself
Hail Sid Caesar! The Golden Age of Comedy2001DocumentaryHimself
The Sid Caesar Collection: The Fan Favorites - The Dream Team of Comedy2001Video documentaryHimself
All About Desire: The Passionate Cinema of Pedro Almodovar2001TV Movie documentaryHimself
Campus, le magazine de l'écrit2001TV Series documentaryHimself
Continuar1997-2001TV SeriesHimself
El informal2001TV SeriesHimself
The Sid Caesar Collection: The Fan Favorites - Love & Laughter2001Video documentaryHimself
The Sid Caesar Collection: The Fan Favorites - The Professor and Other Clowns2001Video documentaryHimself
HARDtalk2001TV SeriesHimself
Caiga quien caiga2001TV SeriesHimself
Hollywood Profile2001TV Series documentaryHimself
Stanley Kubrick: A Life in Pictures2001DocumentaryHimself
The Sid Caesar Collection: Creating the Comedy2000Video documentaryHimself
The Sid Caesar Collection: Inside the Writer's Room2000Video documentaryHimself
The Sid Caesar Collection: The Magic of Live TV2000Video documentaryHimself
Waiting for Woody2000TV Movie documentaryHimself
Scene by Scene2000TV SeriesHimself - Interviewee
Buñuel en Hollywood2000TV Movie documentaryHimself
Ljuset håller mig sällskap2000DocumentaryHimself - Interviewee
Àgora1999TV SeriesHimself
Howard Cosell: Telling It Like It Is1999TV Movie documentaryHimself
Sweet and Lowdown1999Himself
Parkinson1999TV SeriesHimself
NY TV: By the People Who Made It - Part I & II1998TV Movie documentaryHimself
Sugar Ray Robinson: The Bright Lights and Dark Shadows of a Champion1998TV Movie documentaryHimself
AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies: The Antiheroes1998TV Movie documentaryHimself
AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies: In Search of1998TV Special documentaryHimself
AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies: America's Greatest Movies1998TV Special documentaryHimself
Les enfants de la télé1998TV SeriesHimself
The Secret World of 'Antz'1998TV Movie documentaryHimself
Avisa'ns quan arribi el 20001997TV SeriesHimself
Just Shoot Me!1997TV SeriesHimself
Dennis Pennis R.I.P.1997VideoHimself
Liv Ullmann scener fra et liv1997DocumentaryNarrator (American Version)
Very Important Pennis1997TV SeriesHimself
Mundo VIP1997TV SeriesHimself
Cannes... les 400 coups1997TV Movie documentaryHimself
The Language Master1997DocumentaryHimself
Wild Man Blues1997DocumentaryHimself - the Clarinetist
Corazón, corazón1996TV SeriesHimself
Lignes de mire1995TV SeriesHimself
Bouillon de culture1995TV Series documentaryHimself
La marche du siècle1995TV Series documentaryHimself (Interview)
La senda1994TV SeriesHimself (1994)
Showbiz Today1992TV SeriesHimself
7 sur 71992TV SeriesHimself
Mister Manhattan: Woody Allen1987TV Movie documentaryHimself - Interviewee
Meeting Woody Allen1986Documentary shortHimself
The Marx Brothers in a Nutshell1982TV Movie documentaryHimself
L'oeuvre et la vie de Woody Allen1982TV Movie documentaryHimself
HBO Boxing1982TV Series documentaryHimself - Audience Member
To Woody Allen from Europe with Love1980DocumentaryHimself

Archive Footage

Archive Footage

TitleYearStatusCharacter
Entertainment Tonight2008-2015TV SeriesHimself
The Sixties2014TV Mini-Series documentaryHimself - Comedian
Muhammad Ali's Greatest Fight2013Himself
Un voyageur2013DocumentaryHimself
The Battle of Amfar2013Documentary shortHimself (uncredited)
Welcome to the Basement2012TV SeriesHimself
Kulturzeit2012TV SeriesHimself
Frost on Interviews2012TV Movie documentaryHimself
Excavating the 2000 Year Old Man2012Documentary shortHimself
2011 Samsung AACTA Awards2012TV SpecialHimself - Director / Writer
Imagine2011TV Series documentaryHimself
Bert Stern: Original Madman2011DocumentaryHimself - interviewer
My Favourite Joke2011TV SeriesHimself
Sidewalls2011Isaac (uncredited)
Willkommen Österreich2011TV SeriesHimself
Nature2011TV Series documentaryHimself - Premiere of 'Born Free'
España, plató de cine2009TV Movie documentaryHimself
Facing Ali2009DocumentaryHimself (uncredited)
Buscando a Penélope2009TV MovieHimself
Filmania: Eiga no tatsujin2009TV SeriesHimself
Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business of America2009TV Series documentaryHimself
Thrilla in Manila2008TV Movie documentaryHimself (uncredited)
Continuar2008TV SeriesHimself
Banda sonora2008TV SeriesLarry Lipton
Catalunya.cat2008TV Movie documentaryHimself
XXII Premios Anuales de la Academia2008TV SpecialHimself
El hormiguero2007TV SeriesHimself
100 Greatest Stand-Ups2007TV Movie documentaryHimself
La tele de tu vida2007TV SeriesHimself
XXI Premios Anuales de la Academia2007TV SpecialSid Waterman (uncredited)
Premio Donostia a Matt Dillon2006TV MovieHimself
La imagen de tu vida2006TV SeriesHimself
Premio Donostia a Max Von Sydow2006TV MovieHimself
¿De qué te ríes?2006TV MovieAlvy Singer
Cavett Remembers the Comic Legends2006Video documentary shortHimself
Buenafuente2005TV SeriesHimself
Cinema mil2005TV SeriesHimself / Lenny
Premio Donostia a Willem Dafoe2005TV MovieHimself
Candid Camera: 5 Decades of Smiles2005VideoHimself
The Comedians' Comedian2005TV Movie documentary
Funny Already: A History of Jewish Comedy2004TV Movie documentaryHimself
I Love the '90s2004TV Series documentaryHimself
Silenci?2004TV SeriesHimself
Comedy Central Presents: 100 Greatest Stand-Ups of All Time2004TV Mini-SeriesHimself #4
101 Most Shocking Moments in Entertainment2003TV Movie documentaryHimself
Inside the Actors Studio2003TV SeriesHimself
Jack Paar: Smart Television2003TV Movie documentaryHimself
Playboy: Inside the Playboy Mansion2002TV Movie documentaryHimself
Celebrity Profile2001TV Series documentaryHimself
Playboy: The Party Continues2000TV Movie documentaryHimself
CyberWorld2000ShortZ-4195
Ali-Frazier I: One Nation... Divisible2000TV Movie documentaryHimself - Audience Member (uncredited)
Sharon Stone - Una mujer de 100 caras1998TV Movie documentaryHimself (uncredited)
A Soldier's Daughter Never Cries1998Himself (interviewee on TV) (uncredited)
A Really Big Show: Ed Sullivan's 50th Anniversary1998TV SpecialHimself
50 años de cámaras ocultas1998TV MovieHimself
American Masters1997TV Series documentaryHimself
Classic Stand-Up Comedy of Television1996TV Special documentaryHimself
Candid Camera's 50th Anniversary1996TV Movie documentaryHimself
The 68th Annual Academy Awards1996TV SpecialLenny
50 Years of Funny Females1995TV Movie documentaryHimself
The 67th Annual Academy Awards1995TV SpecialHimself - Nominee: Best Director & Best Original Screenplay
100 Years at the Movies1994TV Short documentaryHimself
The 62nd Annual Academy Awards1990TV SpecialHimself
Hollywood Mavericks1990DocumentaryActor 'Annie Hall'
Bonds Are Forever1983Video documentaryJimmy Bond / Himself
Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson 20th Anniversary1982TV MovieHimself
Hollywood: The Gift of Laughter1982TV Movie documentaryActor 'Casino Royale' (uncredited)
Margret Dünser, auf der Suche nach den Besonderen1981TV Movie documentaryHimself
America at the Movies1976DocumentaryVirgil Starkwell
ABC's Wide World of Sports1974TV SeriesHimself

Won awards

Won awards

Won awards

YearAwardCeremonyNominationMovieAward shared with
2014Cecil B. DeMille AwardGolden Globes, USA
2014Silver CondorArgentinean Film Critics Association AwardsBest Foreign Film, Not in the Spanish Language (Mejor Película Extranjera)Blue Jasmine (2013)
2013GrammyGrammy AwardsBest Compilation Soundtrack For Visual MediaMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Original ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012Audience AwardTuria AwardsBest Foreign FilmMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012Turia AwardTuria AwardsBest Foreign FilmMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012Golden GlobeGolden Globes, USABest Screenplay - Motion PictureMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Original ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012Critics Choice AwardBroadcast Film Critics Association AwardsBest Original ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012Cinema Brazil Grand PrizeCinema Brazil Grand PrizeBest Foreign-Language Film (Melhor Filme Estrangeiro)Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012CEC AwardCinema Writers Circle Awards, SpainBest Screenplay, Original (Mejor Guión Original)Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012GFCA AwardGeorgia Film Critics Association (GFCA)Best Original ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012IOMAItalian Online Movie Awards (IOMA)Best Original Screenplay (Miglior sceneggiatura originale)Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012OFCS AwardOnline Film Critics Society AwardsBest Screenplay, OriginalMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011SDFCS AwardSan Diego Film Critics Society AwardsBest Screenplay, OriginalMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011SEFCA AwardSoutheastern Film Critics Association AwardsBest Screenplay, OriginalMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011EDA AwardAlliance of Women Film JournalistsBest Writing, Original ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011Austin Film Critics AwardAustin Film Critics AssociationBest Original ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011ACCAAwards Circuit Community AwardsBest Original ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2010Turia AwardTuria AwardsBest Foreign FilmWhatever Works (2009)
2009Audience AwardSESC Film Festival, BrazilBest Foreign Film (Melhor Filme Estrangeiro)Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009Audience AwardSESC Film Festival, BrazilBest Foreign Director (Melhor Diretor Estrangeiro)Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009Audience AwardSant Jordi AwardsBest Film (Mejor Película Española)Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009Cinema Brazil Grand PrizeCinema Brazil Grand PrizeBest Foreign-Language Film (Melhor Filme Estrangeiro)Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009Audience AwardCinema Brazil Grand PrizeBest Foreign-Language Film (Melhor Filme Estrangeiro)Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009Independent Spirit AwardIndependent Spirit AwardsBest ScreenplayVicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2008Sebastiane AwardSan Sebastián International Film FestivalVicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2006Audience AwardSant Jordi AwardsBest Foreign Film (Mejor Película Extranjera)Match Point (2005)
2006Audience AwardTuria AwardsBest Foreign FilmMatch Point (2005)
2006ADIRCAE AwardADIRCAE AwardsBest Foreign FilmMatch Point (2005)
2006Award of the Argentinean AcademyAcademy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences of ArgentinaBest Foreign FilmMatch Point (2005)
2006DavidDavid di Donatello AwardsBest European Film (Miglior Film dell'Unione Europea)Match Point (2005)
2006GoyaGoya AwardsBest European Film (Mejor Película Europea)Match Point (2005)
2004Donostia Lifetime Achievement AwardSan Sebastián International Film Festival
2002Prince of Asturias AwardPrince of Asturias AwardsArts
2001Gran Angular AwardSitges - Catalonian International Film FestivalBest FilmThe Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)
1999Audience AwardTuria AwardsBest Foreign FilmDeconstructing Harry (1997)
1999OFTA Film AwardOnline Film & Television AssociationBest Voice-Over PerformanceAntz (1998)
1999OFTA Film AwardOnline Film & Television AssociationBest Family ActorAntz (1998)
1998Audience AwardTuria AwardsBest Foreign FilmEveryone Says I Love You (1996)
1998Turia AwardTuria AwardsBest Foreign FilmEveryone Says I Love You (1996)
1998Lifetime Achievement AwardLas Vegas Film Critics Society Awards
1998Special Achievement AwardLondon Critics Circle Film Awards
1997Academy FellowshipBAFTA Awards
1997ButacaButaca AwardsBest Art House Film (Millor película d'autor)Everyone Says I Love You (1996)
1996ButacaButaca AwardsBest Art House Film (Millor película d'autor)Mighty Aphrodite (1995)
1996Lifetime Achievement AwardDirectors Guild of America, USA
1993BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Screenplay - OriginalHusbands and Wives (1992)
1991ALFS AwardLondon Critics Circle Film AwardsDirector of the YearCrimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1991ALFS AwardLondon Critics Circle Film AwardsScreenwriter of the YearCrimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenCrimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990BSFC AwardBoston Society of Film Critics AwardsBest DirectorCrimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990BSFC AwardBoston Society of Film Critics AwardsBest ScreenplayCrimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990DavidDavid di Donatello AwardsBest Foreign Screenplay (Migliore Sceneggiatura Straniera)Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990Literary AwardPEN Center USA West Literary AwardsScreenplay OriginalCrimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1989Truly Moving Picture AwardHeartland FilmCrimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1988Critics AwardSESC Film Festival, BrazilBest Foreign Film (Melhor Filme Estrangeiro)Radio Days (1987)
1987OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987Laurel Award for Screen Writing AchievementWriters Guild of America, USA
1987BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest DirectionHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Screenplay - OriginalHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987American Comedy AwardAmerican Comedy Awards, USAFunniest Actor in a Motion Picture (Leading Role)Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987Lifetime Achievement Award in ComedyAmerican Comedy Awards, USA
1987BodilBodil AwardsBest Non-European Film (Bedste ikke-europæiske film)Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987BSFC AwardBoston Society of Film Critics AwardsBest ScreenplayHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987DavidDavid di Donatello AwardsBest Foreign Screenplay (Migliore Sceneggiatura Straniera)Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987Critics AwardFrench Syndicate of Cinema CriticsBest Foreign FilmHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987ALFS AwardLondon Critics Circle Film AwardsScreenwriter of the YearHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987Mainichi Film ConcoursMainichi Film ConcoursBest Foreign Language FilmThe Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986Golden GlobeGolden Globes, USABest Screenplay - Motion PictureThe Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest FilmThe Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)Robert Greenhut
1986BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Screenplay - OriginalThe Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986President's AwardAcademy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films, USAThe Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986BodilBodil AwardsBest Non-European Film (Bedste ikke-europæiske film)The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986BSFC AwardBoston Society of Film Critics AwardsBest ScreenplayThe Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986CésarCésar Awards, FranceBest Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger)The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986Fotogramas de PlataFotogramas de PlataBest Foreign Film (Mejor Película Extranjera)The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986Critics AwardFrench Syndicate of Cinema CriticsBest Foreign FilmThe Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986Hochi Film AwardHochi Film AwardsBest Foreign Language FilmThe Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986LAFCA AwardLos Angeles Film Critics Association AwardsBest ScreenplayHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1986NBR AwardNational Board of Review, USABest DirectorHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1986NYFCC AwardNew York Film Critics Circle AwardsBest DirectorHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1985WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenBroadway Danny Rose (1984)
1985BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Screenplay - OriginalBroadway Danny Rose (1984)
1985FIPRESCI PrizeCannes Film FestivalThe Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1985DavidDavid di Donatello AwardsBest Foreign Screenplay (Migliore Sceneggiatura Straniera)Broadway Danny Rose (1984)
1985NYFCC AwardNew York Film Critics Circle AwardsBest ScreenplayThe Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1984Honorary RobertRobert Festival
1984BodilBodil AwardsBest Non-European Film (Bedste ikke-europæiske film)Zelig (1983)
1984DavidDavid di Donatello AwardsBest Foreign Actor (Migliore Attore Straniero)Zelig (1983)
1983Pasinetti AwardVenice Film FestivalBest FilmZelig (1983)
1981Guild Film Award - SilverGuild of German Art House CinemasForeign Film (Ausländischer Film)Manhattan (1979)
1980BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest ScreenplayManhattan (1979)Marshall Brickman
1980BodilBodil AwardsBest Non-European Film (Bedste ikke-europæiske film)Manhattan (1979)
1980CésarCésar Awards, FranceBest Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger)Manhattan (1979)
1980Fotogramas de PlataFotogramas de PlataBest Foreign Film (Mejor Película Extranjera)Manhattan (1979)
1980Silver RibbonItalian National Syndicate of Film JournalistsBest Foreign Director (Regista del Miglior Film Straniero)Manhattan (1979)
1980NSFC AwardNational Society of Film Critics Awards, USABest DirectorManhattan (1979)
1979Sant JordiSant Jordi AwardsBest Foreign Film (Mejor Película Extranjera)Interiors (1978)
1979Guild Film Award - GoldGuild of German Art House CinemasForeign Film (Ausländischer Film)Annie Hall (1977)
1979NYFCC AwardNew York Film Critics Circle AwardsBest DirectorManhattan (1979)
1978OscarAcademy Awards, USABest DirectorAnnie Hall (1977)
1978OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenAnnie Hall (1977)Marshall Brickman
1978WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Comedy Written Directly for the ScreenAnnie Hall (1977)Marshall Brickman
1978BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest DirectionAnnie Hall (1977)
1978BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest ScreenplayAnnie Hall (1977)Marshall Brickman
1978BodilBodil AwardsBest Non-European Film (Bedste ikke-europæiske film)Annie Hall (1977)
1978DGA AwardDirectors Guild of America, USAOutstanding Directorial Achievement in Motion PicturesAnnie Hall (1977)Robert Greenhut, Fred T. Gallo, Frederic B. Blankfein
1978KCFCC AwardKansas City Film Critics Circle AwardsBest DirectorInteriors (1978)
1977KCFCC AwardKansas City Film Critics Circle AwardsBest DirectorAnnie Hall (1977)
1977LAFCA AwardLos Angeles Film Critics Association AwardsBest ScreenplayAnnie Hall (1977)Marshall Brickman
1977NSFC AwardNational Society of Film Critics Awards, USABest ScreenplayAnnie Hall (1977)Marshall Brickman
1977NYFCC AwardNew York Film Critics Circle AwardsBest DirectorAnnie Hall (1977)
1977NYFCC AwardNew York Film Critics Circle AwardsBest ScreenplayAnnie Hall (1977)Marshall Brickman
1975Nebula AwardScience Fiction and Fantasy Writers of AmericaBest Dramatic PresentationSleeper (1973)
1975Silver Berlin BearBerlin International Film FestivalFor his whole works.
1975UNICRIT AwardBerlin International Film FestivalLove and Death (1975)
1974Fotogramas de PlataFotogramas de PlataBest Foreign Movie Performer (Mejor intérprete de cine extranjero)Play It Again, Sam (1972)
1974HugoHugo AwardsBest Dramatic PresentationSleeper (1973)Marshall Brickman

Nominated awards

Nominated awards

Nominated awards

YearAwardCeremonyNominationMovieAward shared with
2014OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Original ScreenplayBlue Jasmine (2013)
2014WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Original ScreenplayBlue Jasmine (2013)
2014BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Original ScreenplayBlue Jasmine (2013)
2014AACTA International AwardAustralian Film InstituteBest ScreenplayBlue Jasmine (2013)
2014Critics Choice AwardBroadcast Film Critics Association AwardsBest Original ScreenplayBlue Jasmine (2013)
2014Cinema Brazil Grand PrizeCinema Brazil Grand PrizeBest Foreign-Language Film (Melhor Filme Estrangeiro)Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014CésarCésar Awards, FranceBest Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger)Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014DavidDavid di Donatello AwardsBest Foreign Film (Miglior Film Straniero)Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014Independent Spirit AwardIndependent Spirit AwardsBest ScreenplayBlue Jasmine (2013)
2014ICS AwardInternational Cinephile Society AwardsBest Original ScreenplayBlue Jasmine (2013)
2014INOCAInternational Online Cinema Awards (INOCA)Best Original ScreenplayBlue Jasmine (2013)
2014IOMAItalian Online Movie Awards (IOMA)Best Original Screenplay (Miglior sceneggiatura originale)Blue Jasmine (2013)
2014OFTA Film AwardOnline Film & Television AssociationBest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenBlue Jasmine (2013)
2013SDFCS AwardSan Diego Film Critics Society AwardsBest Original ScreenplayBlue Jasmine (2013)
2013Satellite AwardSatellite AwardsBest DirectorBlue Jasmine (2013)
2013Satellite AwardSatellite AwardsBest Screenplay, OriginalBlue Jasmine (2013)
2013Screenplay CompetitionScreenwriters Choice Awards, OnlineBest Original ScreenplayBlue Jasmine (2013)
2013WAFCA AwardWashington DC Area Film Critics Association AwardsBest Original ScreenplayBlue Jasmine (2013)
2013ACCAAwards Circuit Community AwardsBest Original ScreenplayBlue Jasmine (2013)
2013CFCA AwardChicago Film Critics Association AwardsBest Original ScreenplayBlue Jasmine (2013)
2013DFCS AwardDenver Film Critics SocietyBest Writing, Original ScreenplayBlue Jasmine (2013)
2013DFCCDublin Film Critics Circle AwardsBest DirectorBlue Jasmine (2013)
2013OFCS AwardOnline Film Critics Society AwardsBest Original ScreenplayBlue Jasmine (2013)
2012OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Achievement in DirectingMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012Bradbury AwardScience Fiction and Fantasy Writers of AmericaMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012VFCC AwardVancouver Film Critics CircleBest ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012Golden GlobeGolden Globes, USABest Director - Motion PictureMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Original ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012Award of the Argentinean AcademyAcademy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences of ArgentinaBest Foreign Film (Mejor Película Extranjera)To Rome with Love (2012)
2012Saturn AwardAcademy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films, USABest WritingMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012Silver CondorArgentinean Film Critics Association AwardsBest Foreign Film, Not in the Spanish Language (Mejor Película Extranjera)Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012AACTA International AwardAustralian Film InstituteBest ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012AACTA International AwardAustralian Film InstituteBest DirectionMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012CEC AwardCinema Writers Circle Awards, SpainBest Film (Mejor Película)Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012CEC AwardCinema Writers Circle Awards, SpainBest Director (Mejor Director)Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012DGA AwardDirectors Guild of America, USAOutstanding Directorial Achievement in Motion PicturesMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012GoyaGoya AwardsBest Screenplay - Original (Mejor Guión Original)Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012ICS AwardInternational Cinephile Society AwardsBest Original ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012Silver RibbonItalian National Syndicate of Film JournalistsBest Non-European Director (Regista del Miglior Film Non-Europeo)Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012IOMAItalian Online Movie Awards (IOMA)Best Picture (Miglior film)Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012IOMAItalian Online Movie Awards (IOMA)Best Director (Miglior regia)Midnight in Paris (2011)
2012Kinema Junpo AwardKinema Junpo AwardsBest Foreign Language FilmMidnight in Paris (2011)
2012OFTA Film AwardOnline Film & Television AssociationBest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011PFCS AwardPhoenix Film Critics Society AwardsBest Screenplay - OriginalMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011SDFCS AwardSan Diego Film Critics Society AwardsBest DirectorMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011Satellite AwardSatellite AwardsBest DirectorMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011SLFCA AwardSt. Louis Film Critics Association, USBest Original ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011WAFCA AwardWashington DC Area Film Critics Association AwardsBest DirectorMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011WAFCA AwardWashington DC Area Film Critics Association AwardsBest Original ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011EDA AwardAlliance of Women Film JournalistsBest DirectorMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011CFCA AwardChicago Film Critics Association AwardsBest Screenplay, OriginalMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011DFWFCA AwardDallas-Fort Worth Film Critics Association AwardsBest DirectorMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011Golden SchmoesGolden Schmoes AwardsBest Screenplay of the YearMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011HFCS AwardHouston Film Critics Society AwardsBest DirectorMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011HFCS AwardHouston Film Critics Society AwardsBest ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011PFCS AwardPhoenix Film Critics Society AwardsBest DirectorMidnight in Paris (2011)
2009RobertRobert FestivalBest American Film (Årets amerikanske film)Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009White ElephantRussian Guild of Film CriticsBest Foreign FilmVicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Original ScreenplayVicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009BodilBodil AwardsBest American Film (Bedste amerikanske film)Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009Golden EagleGolden Eagle Awards, RussiaBest Foreign FilmVicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2009Silver RibbonItalian National Syndicate of Film JournalistsBest European Director (Regista del Miglior Film Europeo)Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2008ACCAAwards Circuit Community AwardsBest Original ScreenplayVicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
2007RobertRobert FestivalBest American Film (Årets amerikanske film)Match Point (2005)
2007GoyaGoya AwardsBest European Film (Mejor Película Europea)Scoop (2006)
2007Silver RibbonItalian National Syndicate of Film JournalistsBest Non-European Director (Regista del Miglior Film Non-Europeo)Match Point (2005)
2006White ElephantRussian Guild of Film CriticsBest Foreign FilmMatch Point (2005)
2006OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Original ScreenplayMatch Point (2005)
2006Golden GlobeGolden Globes, USABest Director - Motion PictureMatch Point (2005)
2006Golden GlobeGolden Globes, USABest Screenplay - Motion PictureMatch Point (2005)
2006CésarCésar Awards, FranceBest Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger)Match Point (2005)
2006EdgarEdgar Allan Poe AwardsBest Motion Picture ScreenplayMatch Point (2005)
2006Golden EagleGolden Eagle Awards, RussiaBest Foreign FilmMatch Point (2005)
2006OFTA Film AwardOnline Film & Television AssociationBest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenMatch Point (2005)
2006OFCS AwardOnline Film Critics Society AwardsBest Screenplay, OriginalMatch Point (2005)
2005SLFCA AwardSt. Louis Film Critics Association, USBest DirectorMatch Point (2005)
2005SLFCA AwardSt. Louis Film Critics Association, USBest ScreenplayMatch Point (2005)
2001Chlotrudis AwardChlotrudis AwardsBest Original ScreenplaySweet and Lowdown (1999)
2000Cinema Brazil Grand PrizeCinema Brazil Grand PrizeBest Foreign Film (Melhor Filme Estrangeiro)Deconstructing Harry (1997)
1998OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenDeconstructing Harry (1997)
1998ButacaButaca AwardsBest Art House Film (Millor película d'autor)Deconstructing Harry (1997)
1998CésarCésar Awards, FranceBest Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger)Everyone Says I Love You (1996)
1998Screen International AwardEuropean Film AwardsDeconstructing Harry (1997)
1997Golden Satellite AwardSatellite AwardsBest Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture - Comedy or MusicalEveryone Says I Love You (1996)
1997Screen International AwardEuropean Film AwardsEveryone Says I Love You (1996)
1996OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenMighty Aphrodite (1995)
1996WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenMighty Aphrodite (1995)
1996BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Screenplay - OriginalBullets Over Broadway (1994)Douglas McGrath
1996DavidDavid di Donatello AwardsBest Foreign Film (Miglior Film Straniero)Mighty Aphrodite (1995)
1996DavidDavid di Donatello AwardsBest Foreign Actor (Migliore Attore Straniero)Mighty Aphrodite (1995)
1995OscarAcademy Awards, USABest DirectorBullets Over Broadway (1994)
1995OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenBullets Over Broadway (1994)Douglas McGrath
1995WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenBullets Over Broadway (1994)Douglas McGrath
1995Independent Spirit AwardIndependent Spirit AwardsBest ScreenplayBullets Over Broadway (1994)Douglas McGrath
1994CésarCésar Awards, FranceBest Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger)Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)
1993OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenHusbands and Wives (1992)
1993WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenHusbands and Wives (1992)
1993CésarCésar Awards, FranceBest Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger)Husbands and Wives (1992)
1992CésarCésar Awards, FranceBest Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger)Alice (1990)
1992DavidDavid di Donatello AwardsBest Foreign Film (Miglior Film Straniero)Shadows and Fog (1991)
1991OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenAlice (1990)
1991WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenAlice (1990)
1991BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest DirectionCrimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1991BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest FilmCrimes and Misdemeanors (1989)Robert Greenhut
1991BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Screenplay - OriginalCrimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990OscarAcademy Awards, USABest DirectorCrimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenCrimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990American Comedy AwardAmerican Comedy Awards, USAFunniest Actor in a Motion Picture (Leading Role)Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990CFCA AwardChicago Film Critics Association AwardsBest DirectorCrimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990DavidDavid di Donatello AwardsBest Foreign Actor (Migliore Attore Straniero)Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990DavidDavid di Donatello AwardsBest Foreign Film (Miglior Film Straniero)Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990DavidDavid di Donatello AwardsBest Foreign Director (Migliore Regista Straniero)Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990DGA AwardDirectors Guild of America, USAOutstanding Directorial Achievement in Motion PicturesCrimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1990EdgarEdgar Allan Poe AwardsBest Motion PictureCrimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
1989DavidDavid di Donatello AwardsBest Foreign Director (Migliore Regista Straniero)Another Woman (1988)
1989Silver RibbonItalian National Syndicate of Film JournalistsBest Foreign Director (Regista del Miglior Film Straniero)Another Woman (1988)
1988OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenRadio Days (1987)
1988WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenRadio Days (1987)
1988BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest FilmRadio Days (1987)Robert Greenhut
1988BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Screenplay - OriginalRadio Days (1987)
1987OscarAcademy Awards, USABest DirectorHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987Golden GlobeGolden Globes, USABest Director - Motion PictureHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987Golden GlobeGolden Globes, USABest Screenplay - Motion PictureHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest ActorHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest FilmHannah and Her Sisters (1986)Robert Greenhut
1987CésarCésar Awards, FranceBest Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger)Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987DGA AwardDirectors Guild of America, USAOutstanding Directorial Achievement in Motion PicturesHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1987Silver RibbonItalian National Syndicate of Film JournalistsBest Foreign Director (Regista del Miglior Film Straniero)Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1986OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenThe Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenThe Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986Saturn AwardAcademy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films, USABest DirectorThe Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986Saturn AwardAcademy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films, USABest WritingThe Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1985OscarAcademy Awards, USABest DirectorBroadway Danny Rose (1984)
1985OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenBroadway Danny Rose (1984)
1984Golden GlobeGolden Globes, USABest Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Comedy/MusicalZelig (1983)
1984WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Comedy Written Directly for the ScreenZelig (1983)
1984BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest Screenplay - OriginalZelig (1983)
1984Saturn AwardAcademy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films, USABest DirectorZelig (1983)
1984Silver RibbonItalian National Syndicate of Film JournalistsBest Foreign Director (Regista del Miglior Film Straniero)Zelig (1983)
1981WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Comedy Written Directly for the ScreenStardust Memories (1980)
1980OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenManhattan (1979)Marshall Brickman
1980WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Comedy Written Directly for the ScreenManhattan (1979)Marshall Brickman
1980BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest ActorManhattan (1979)
1980BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest DirectionManhattan (1979)
1980DGA AwardDirectors Guild of America, USAOutstanding Directorial Achievement in Motion PicturesManhattan (1979)
1979OscarAcademy Awards, USABest DirectorInteriors (1978)
1979OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the ScreenInteriors (1978)
1979Golden GlobeGolden Globes, USABest Director - Motion PictureInteriors (1978)
1979Golden GlobeGolden Globes, USABest Screenplay - Motion PictureInteriors (1978)
1979WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Drama Written Directly for the ScreenInteriors (1978)
1979NSFC AwardNational Society of Film Critics Awards, USABest ScreenplayInteriors (1978)
1978OscarAcademy Awards, USABest Actor in a Leading RoleAnnie Hall (1977)
1978Golden GlobeGolden Globes, USABest Director - Motion PictureAnnie Hall (1977)
1978Golden GlobeGolden Globes, USABest Motion Picture Actor - Musical/ComedyAnnie Hall (1977)
1978Golden GlobeGolden Globes, USABest Screenplay - Motion PictureAnnie Hall (1977)Marshall Brickman
1978BAFTA Film AwardBAFTA AwardsBest ActorAnnie Hall (1977)
1978CésarCésar Awards, FranceBest Foreign Film (Meilleur film étranger)Annie Hall (1977)
1975Golden Berlin BearBerlin International Film FestivalLove and Death (1975)
1974WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Comedy Written Directly for the ScreenSleeper (1973)Marshall Brickman
1972WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Comedy Written Directly for the ScreenBananas (1971)Mickey Rose
1971Golden CharybdisTaormina International Film FestivalBananas (1971)
1970WGA Award (Screen)Writers Guild of America, USABest Comedy Written Directly for the ScreenTake the Money and Run (1969)Mickey Rose
1970Golden LaurelLaurel AwardsMale Comedy PerformanceTake the Money and Run (1969)
1970Golden LaurelLaurel AwardsMale New FaceTake the Money and Run (1969)
1966Golden LaurelLaurel AwardsNew Faces, Male13th place.
1959Primetime EmmyPrimetime Emmy AwardsBest Writing of a Single Musical or Variety ProgramThe Sid Caesar Show (1958)Larry Gelbart

2nd place awards

2nd place awards

2nd place awards

YearAwardCeremonyNominationMovieAward shared with
2012COFCA AwardCentral Ohio Film Critics AssociationBest Screenplay - OriginalMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011DFWFCA AwardDallas-Fort Worth Film Critics Association AwardsBest ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2011NYFCC AwardNew York Film Critics Circle AwardsBest ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
2005UFCA AwardUtah Film Critics Association AwardsBest DirectorMatch Point (2005)
2005ACCAAwards Circuit Community AwardsBest Original ScreenplayMatch Point (2005)
1987NSFC AwardNational Society of Film Critics Awards, USABest ScreenplayHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1986LAFCA AwardLos Angeles Film Critics Association AwardsBest DirectorHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1986NSFC AwardNational Society of Film Critics Awards, USABest ScreenplayThe Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
1986NYFCC AwardNew York Film Critics Circle AwardsBest ScreenplayHannah and Her Sisters (1986)
1980Sant JordiSant Jordi AwardsBest Foreign Film (Mejor Película Extranjera)Manhattan (1979)
1980NSFC AwardNational Society of Film Critics Awards, USABest ScreenplayManhattan (1979)Marshall Brickman
1979NYFCC AwardNew York Film Critics Circle AwardsBest ScreenplayManhattan (1979)Marshall Brickman
1978LAFCA AwardLos Angeles Film Critics Association AwardsBest DirectorInteriors (1978)
1978LAFCA AwardLos Angeles Film Critics Association AwardsBest ScreenplayInteriors (1978)

3rd place awards

3rd place awards

3rd place awards

YearAwardCeremonyNominationMovieAward shared with
2012NSFC AwardNational Society of Film Critics Awards, USABest ScreenplayMidnight in Paris (2011)
1983NYFCC AwardNew York Film Critics Circle AwardsBest DirectorZelig (1983)
1983NYFCC AwardNew York Film Critics Circle AwardsBest ScreenplayZelig (1983)
1977NSFC AwardNational Society of Film Critics Awards, USABest DirectorAnnie Hall (1977)

TitleSalary
Deconstructing Harry (1997)$2,500,000
Bullets Over Broadway (1994)$1,500,000
Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)$500,000 +15% first-dollar gross
What's Up, Tiger Lily? (1966)$66,000
Deconstructing Harry (1997)$2,500,000
Bullets Over Broadway (1994)$1,500,000
Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)$500,000 +15% first-dollar gross
What's Up, Tiger Lily? (1966)$66,000

#Fact
1He has directed Dianne Wiest in five films: The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985), Hannah and Her Sisters (1986), Radio Days (1987), September (1987) and Bullets Over Broadway (1994).
2He has directed Diane Keaton in seven films: Sleeper (1973), Love and Death (1975), Annie Hall (1977), Interiors (1978), Manhattan (1979), Radio Days (1987) and Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993).
3He directed his then girlfriend Mia Farrow in thirteen films: A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982), Zelig (1983), Broadway Danny Rose (1984), The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985), Hannah and Her Sisters (1986), Radio Days (1987), September (1987), Another Woman (1988), New York Stories (1989), Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989), Alice (1990), Shadows and Fog (1991) and Husbands and Wives (1992).
4In a July 2014 interview, he revealed that one of his few dream projects would be a biopic of Sidney Bechet.
5As of 2014, has written three films that were nominated for the Best Picture Oscar: Annie Hall (1977), Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) and Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011). Of those, Annie Hall (1977) is a winner in the category and all the three scripts are winners in the Best Original Screenplay category.
6He would offer the part to actors he admires by sending them a letter and asking politely if they are interested in being in one of his movies.
7Claims he watches TV only before bed or when he's exercising.
8Responded to renewed allegations of child abuse by his estranged and grown daughter Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow by writing an op-ed to the New York Times published Feb 7, 2014 which he concluded by declaring it would be the last time he would ever comment on the matter.
9Doesn't watch his own movies.
10Despite having the most nominations for ''Best Original Screenplay'', he almost never attends the Academy Awards.
11Many big-name actors are so eager to work with him that they usually work for a fraction of their usual salaries.
12He worked with Peter Sellers, Peter O'Toole, Ursula Andress and Burt Bacharach on both What's New Pussycat (1965) and Casino Royale (1967).
13Interviewed in "The Great Comedians Talk About Comedy' by Larry Wilde'.
14European concert tour (Brussels, Luxembourg, Vienna, Paris, Budapest, Athens, Lisbon, Barcelona, San Sebastian, La Coruna) with the Eddie Davis New Orleans Jazz Band. [December 2007]
15Plays clarinet every Monday night at the Café Carlyle in Manhattan. [October 2005]
16Every film directed by Allen since Love and Death (1975) through Irrational Man (2015), was cast by longtime friend and New York casting director Juliet Taylor.
17His top ten films of all time are: La Grande Illusion (1937), Citizen Kane (1941), Bicycle Thieves (1948), Rashomon (1950), The Seventh Seal (1957), Paths of Glory (1957), The 400 Blows (1959), 8½ (1963), The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972) and Amarcord (1973).
18He's not a member of AMPAS.
19The oldest Academy Award winner for Best Original Screenplay (aged 76 in 2012 for Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011)).
20In the early 1960's, he did stand-up comedy at Enrico's Café in San Francisco.
21Match Point (2005) was his first film to make money in seven years.
22As a homage to Gordon Willis, his long-time friend and cinematographer, he includes a scene where you hear the actors talking outside the shot. Willis encouraged him to do this when they were shooting Annie Hall (1977).
23Plays his clarinet at a Jazz club where the house rule is that he cannot be addressed by any member of the audience. If someone does speak to him, they are automatically ejected from the club.
24Profiled in "American Classic Screen Interviews" (Scarecrow Press).
25He directed, wrote and starred in five of the American Film Institute's 100 Funniest Movies: Annie Hall (1977) at #4, Manhattan (1979) at #46, Take the Money and Run (1969) at #66, Bananas (1971) at #69 and Sleeper (1973) at #80.
26Writes his scripts on a typewriter. He does not own a personal computer, and has his Email account managed by assistants.
27Manages his one-film-per-year schedule by setting strict budgets. Actors--famous or otherwise--receive the same salary.
28Although he was granted visitation rights for his son Ronan Farrow, after a custody battle with Mia Farrow, their relationship is estranged (similar to his other children with Farrow, Moses and Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow). Ronan stated that he cannot have a morally consistent relationship with a man who is his father and his brother-in-law.
29His and Mia Farrow's 12-year relationship ended in a custody battle over their three children in which she accused him of sexually molesting their daughter Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow, though the judge dismissed the claims because they were not substantiated. Farrow ultimately won custody of the children. Allen was denied visitation rights with Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow and could only see his biological son, Ronan, under supervision. Moses Farrow chose not to see his father.
30According to Eric Lax's book, Allen's favorites of his films are (in order): Match Point (2005), The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985), Stardust Memories (1980), Broadway Danny Rose (1984), and Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993).
31Although depicting himself as nerd in his movies, he was a popular student and adept baseball and basketball player at high school.
32A life-size statue of him was erected in the Spanish city of Oviedo (2002).
33After dropping out from New York University, where he studied communication and film, he attended City College of New York.
34His variety of neuroses include: arachnophobia (spiders), entomophobia (insects), heliophobia (sunshine), cynophobia (dogs), altophobia (heights), demophobia (crowds), carcinophobia (cancer), thanatophobia (death), misophobia (germs). He admits to being terrified of hotel bathrooms.
35Awarded an honorary doctorate degree by Pompeu Fabra University in Barcelona, Spain (June 2007).
36Is a vegetarian.
37Was set to reprise his voice role in Antz (1998) for a planned direct-to-video Antz 2 but the project never got off the ground.
38Was originally attached to co-star with Jim Carrey in the Farrelly Brothers comedy Stuck on You (2003), but decided to pass on the idea.
39Distant cousin of Abe Burrows.
40Stating in an interview that he was "not interested in all that extra stuff on DVDs" and that he hopes his films would speak for themselves. Allen has never recorded an audio commentary or even so much has been interviewed for a DVD of any films with which he had been involved.
41Wrote What's Up, Tiger Lily? (1966), Take the Money and Run (1969) and Bananas (1971) with his childhood friend and first writing partner, Mickey Rose. Rose also co-wrote on all of Allen's earlier comedy albums and had a big hand in writing the famous "Moose" sketch.
42His godson Quincy Rose is also a successful writer and actor.
43Five of his movies brought home his actresses Academy Awards: Annie Hall (1977) for Diane Keaton, Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) and Bullets Over Broadway (1994) both for Dianne Wiest, Mighty Aphrodite (1995) for Mira Sorvino, Viki, Kristina, Barselona (2008) for Penélope Cruz, and Blue Jasmine (2013) for Cate Blanchett.
44Told a reporter that he has earned more money from two real estate transactions than he has from all of his movies combined. Sold his long-held Fifth Avenue penthouse (which he had purchased for $600,000) for a profit of $17 million and a renovated townhouse for a profit of some $7 million (December 2005).
45Got hooked on movies when he was 3-years-old, when his mother took him him to see Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937). From that day, he said, theaters became his second home.
46As a boy growing up in Brooklyn, he spent most of his time alone in his room practicing magic tricks or his clarinet.
47Does not allow his films to be edited for airlines and television broadcasts.
48Married to Mia Farrow's adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn, from her second marriage with André Previn.
49According to Mia Farrow's biography, "What Falls Away", Frank Sinatra offered to have Allen's legs broken when he was found to be having an affair with her adopted daughter, Soon-Yi Previn.
50He has only directed one film in which both of his longtime companions Diane Keaton and Mia Farrow appear: Radio Days (1987).
51Ranked #10 in Empire (UK) magazine's Greatest Directors Ever! poll (2005).
52Is a fan of Alfredo Zitarrosa, one of the best Uruguayan musicians.
53Directed 17 different actors in Oscar-nominated performances: Diane Keaton, Geraldine Page, Maureen Stapleton, Mariel Hemingway, Michael Caine, Dianne Wiest (twice), Martin Landau, Judy Davis, Chazz Palminteri, Jennifer Tilly, Mira Sorvino, Sean Penn, Samantha Morton, Penélope Cruz, Cate Blanchett, Sally Hawkins and himself. Keaton, Caine, Wiest (both times), Sorvino, Cruz, and Blanchett won Oscars for their performances in one of his movies.
54Although he is barely interested in awards, he's one of the Academy's favorites - his 16 Oscar Nominations for Best Original Screenplay as of 2014 are a record for that category, and puts him ahead of Billy Wilder, who had 19 combined Oscar nominations for Writing and Directing. With 24 nominations in the combination of the top-three categories--acting, directing and writing--he holds the record there as well.
55Longtime fan and season ticket holder of the NBA's New York Knicks.
56Woody's paternal grandparents, Isaac Koenigsberg and Jennie, were Russian Jewish immigrants. Woody's maternal grandparents, Leon Cherry and Sarah Hoff, were Austrian Jewish immigrants.
57Biological son, Ronan Farrow, graduated from college at 15 and was accepted into Yale Law School.
58Ranked #4 in Comedy Central's 100 Greatest Stand-Up Comedians of All Time.
59Has a look-alike puppet in the French show Les guignols de l'info (1988).
60Biography in: John Wakeman, editor. "World Film Directors, Volume Two, 1945-1985." Pages 20-29. New York: The H.W. Wilson Company, 1988.
61Has been nominated or won 136 awards, more than Charles Chaplin, Buster Keaton, and Harold Lloyd combined.
62Was voted the 19th greatest director of all time by Entertainment Weekly.
63Son of bookkeeper Martin Konigsberg (December 25, 1900-January 13, 2001) and his wife Nettie Konigsberg (November 8, 1906-January 27, 2002).
64Graduated from Midwood High School at Brooklyn College.
65Legally changed his name to Heywood Allen. Goes by "Woody" in honor of Woody Herman.
66In addition to being a comedian, musician and filmmaker, he is also a respected playwright.
67After completing his first musical, Everyone Says I Love You (1996), he stated that he'd like to do another in the future with an all-original score. Since making that statement, however, nothing has yet materialized.
68He has more Academy Award nominations (16) for writing than anyone else, all of them are in the Written Directly for the Screen category.
69Attended the Cannes Film Festival for the first time to receive the Palm of Palms award for lifetime achievement (2002).
70Wrote the concept for the film Hollywood Ending (2002) on the back of a matchbook. Years later, he found the matchbook with the notes for the film on it and made the film.
71Made his first appearance at the Oscars in Hollywood to make a plea for producers to continue filming their movies in New York after the 9/11 tragedy (2002).
72Despite the advancement of sound technology, all of his films are mixed and released in monaural sound, although later ones have a mono Dolby Digital mix.
73Born at 10:55 PM EST.
74Accused British interviewer Michael Parkinson of having a morbid interest in his private life and rejected questions about the custody battle for his children during his appearance on the BBC's Parkinson (1971) in 1999.
75One of the most prolific American directors of his generation, he has written, directed, and more often than not starred in a film just about every year since 1969.
76Among his biggest idols are Ingmar Bergman, Groucho Marx, Federico Fellini, Cole Porter, and Anton Chekhov.
77Was once invited to appear with the Royal Shakespeare Company. Stanley Kubrick also considered casting him in Sydney Pollack's part in Eyes Wide Shut (1999).
78Older brother of Letty Aronson.
79Adopted his second daughter Manzie Tio Allen, named after Manzie Johnson, a drummer with Sidney Bechet's band, after she had been born in Texas. (February 2000).
80He loves Venice, and helped to raise funds to rebuild the Venetian theater La Fenice, which was destroyed by a fire.
81Suspended from New York University.
82He and former lover Mia Farrow had three children: Moses Farrow (adopted son, aka Misha), Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow (adopted daughter, aka Mallone), and Satchel Farrow (biological son, b. 1988, aka Ronan).
83Refuses to watch any of his movies once released.
84Speaks French.
85Ranked #43 in Empire (UK) magazine's Top 100 Movie Stars of All Time list (October 1997).
86His adopted daughter Bechet Dumaine, named after Sidney Bechet, was born in December 1998.
87Woody Allen refuses to watch any of his movies once released.
88In a July 2014 interview, he revealed that one of his few dream projects would be a biopic of Sidney Bechet.
89Along with Orson Welles, Laurence Olivier, Warren Beatty, Kenneth Branagh, Clint Eastwood and Roberto Benigni, he is one of only seven people to receive Academy Award nominations for both Best Actor and Best Director for the same film: Welles for Citizen Kane (1941), Olivier for Hamlet (1948), Allen for Annie Hall (1977), Beatty for Reds (1981), Branagh for Henry V (1989), Eastwood for Unforgiven (1992) and Benigni for Life Is Beautiful (1997).
90As of 2014, has written three films that were nominated for the Best Picture Oscar: Annie Hall (1977), Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) and Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011). Of those, Annie Hall (1977) is a winner in the category and all the three scripts are winners in the Best Original Screenplay category.
91He would offer the part to actors he admires by sending them a letter and asking politely if they are interested in being in one of his movies.
92Claims he watches TV only before bed or when he's exercising.
93Responded to renewed allegations of child abuse by his estranged and grown daughter Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow by writing an op-ed to the New York Times published Feb 7, 2014 which he concluded by declaring it would be the last time he would ever comment on the matter.
94Doesn't watch his own movies.
95Despite having the most nominations for ''Best Original Screenplay'', he almost never attends the Academy Awards.
96Many big-name actors are so eager to work with him that they usually work for a fraction of their usual salaries.
97He worked with Peter Sellers, Peter O'Toole, Ursula Andress and Burt Bacharach on both What's New Pussycat (1965) and Casino Royale (1967).
98Interviewed in "The Great Comedians Talk About Comedy' by Larry Wilde'.
99European concert tour (Brussels, Luxembourg, Vienna, Paris, Budapest, Athens, Lisbon, Barcelona, San Sebastian, La Coruna) with the Eddie Davis New Orleans Jazz Band. [December 2007]
100Plays clarinet every Monday night at the Café Carlyle in Manhattan. [October 2005]
101Every film directed by Allen since Love and Death (1975) through Irrational Man (2015), was cast by longtime friend and New York casting director Juliet Taylor.
102His top ten films of all time are: La Grande Illusion (1937), Citizen Kane (1941), Bicycle Thieves (1948), Rashomon (1950), The Seventh Seal (1957), Paths of Glory (1957), The 400 Blows (1959), 8½ (1963), The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (1972) and Amarcord (1973).
103He's not a member of AMPAS.
104The oldest Academy Award winner for Best Original Screenplay (aged 76 in 2012 for Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011)).
105In the early 1960's, he did stand-up comedy at Enrico's Café in San Francisco.
106Match Point (2005) was his first film to make money in seven years.
107As a homage to Gordon Willis, his long-time friend and cinematographer, he includes a scene where you hear the actors talking outside the shot. Willis encouraged him to do this when they were shooting Annie Hall (1977).
108Plays his clarinet at a Jazz club where the house rule is that he cannot be addressed by any member of the audience. If someone does speak to him, they are automatically ejected from the club.
109Profiled in "American Classic Screen Interviews" (Scarecrow Press).
110He directed, wrote and starred in five of the American Film Institute's 100 Funniest Movies: Annie Hall (1977) at #4, Manhattan (1979) at #46, Take the Money and Run (1969) at #66, Bananas (1971) at #69 and Sleeper (1973) at #80.
111Writes his scripts on a typewriter. He does not own a personal computer, and has his Email account managed by assistants.
112Manages his one-film-per-year schedule by setting strict budgets. Actors--famous or otherwise--receive the same salary.
113Although he was granted visitation rights for his son Ronan Farrow, after a custody battle with Mia Farrow, their relationship is estranged (similar to his other children with Farrow, Moses and Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow). Ronan stated that he cannot have a morally consistent relationship with a man who is his father and his brother-in-law.
114His and Mia Farrow's 12-year relationship ended in a custody battle over their three children in which she accused him of sexually molesting their daughter Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow, though the judge dismissed the claims because they were not substantiated. Farrow ultimately won custody of the children. Allen was denied visitation rights with Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow and could only see his biological son, Ronan, under supervision. Moses Farrow chose not to see his father.
115According to Eric Lax's book, Allen's favorites of his films are (in order): Match Point (2005), The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985), Stardust Memories (1980), Broadway Danny Rose (1984), and Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993).
116Although depicting himself as nerd in his movies, he was a popular student and adept baseball and basketball player at high school.
117A life-size statue of him was erected in the Spanish city of Oviedo (2002).
118After dropping out from New York University, where he studied communication and film, he attended City College of New York.
119His variety of neuroses include: arachnophobia (spiders), entomophobia (insects), heliophobia (sunshine), cynophobia (dogs), altophobia (heights), demophobia (crowds), carcinophobia (cancer), thanatophobia (death), misophobia (germs). He admits to being terrified of hotel bathrooms.
120Awarded an honorary doctorate degree by Pompeu Fabra University in Barcelona, Spain (June 2007).
121Is a vegetarian.
122Was set to reprise his voice role in Antz (1998) for a planned direct-to-video Antz 2 but the project never got off the ground.
123Was originally attached to co-star with Jim Carrey in the Farrelly Brothers comedy Stuck on You (2003), but decided to pass on the idea.
124Distant cousin of Abe Burrows.
125Stating in an interview that he was "not interested in all that extra stuff on DVDs" and that he hopes his films would speak for themselves. Allen has never recorded an audio commentary or even so much has been interviewed for a DVD of any films with which he had been involved.
126Wrote What's Up, Tiger Lily? (1966), Take the Money and Run (1969) and Bananas (1971) with his childhood friend and first writing partner, Mickey Rose. Rose also co-wrote on all of Allen's earlier comedy albums and had a big hand in writing the famous "Moose" sketch.
127His godson Quincy Rose is also a successful writer and actor.
128Five of his movies brought home his actresses Academy Awards: Annie Hall (1977) for Diane Keaton, Hannah and Her Sisters (1986) and Bullets Over Broadway (1994) both for Dianne Wiest, Mighty Aphrodite (1995) for Mira Sorvino, Viki, Kristina, Barselona (2008) for Penélope Cruz, and Blue Jasmine (2013) for Cate Blanchett.
129Told a reporter that he has earned more money from two real estate transactions than he has from all of his movies combined. Sold his long-held Fifth Avenue penthouse (which he had purchased for $600,000) for a profit of $17 million and a renovated townhouse for a profit of some $7 million (December 2005).
130Got hooked on movies when he was 3-years-old, when his mother took him him to see Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937). From that day, he said, theaters became his second home.
131As a boy growing up in Brooklyn, he spent most of his time alone in his room practicing magic tricks or his clarinet.
132Does not allow his films to be edited for airlines and television broadcasts.
133Married to Mia Farrow's adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn, from her second marriage with André Previn.
134According to Mia Farrow's biography, "What Falls Away", Frank Sinatra offered to have Allen's legs broken when he was found to be having an affair with her adopted daughter, Soon-Yi Previn.
135He and Mia Farrow made 13 movies together: Broadway Danny Rose (1984), Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989), Hannah and Her Sisters (1986), Alice (1990), Another Woman (1988), The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985), September (1987), Husbands and Wives (1992), A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982), New York Stories (1989), Radio Days (1987), Shadows and Fog (1991) and Zelig (1983).
136He and Diane Keaton made 8 movies together: Annie Hall (1977), Love and Death (1975), Manhattan (1979), Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993), Radio Days (1987), Play It Again, Sam (1972), Interiors (1978) and Sleeper (1973).
137Directed only one movie in which both of his longtime companions Diane Keaton and Mia Farrow appear in: Radio Days (1987)
138Ranked #10 in Empire (UK) magazine's Greatest Directors Ever! poll (2005).
139Is a fan of Alfredo Zitarrosa, one of the best Uruguayan musicians.
140Directed 17 different actors in Oscar-nominated performances: Diane Keaton, Geraldine Page, Maureen Stapleton, Mariel Hemingway, Michael Caine, Dianne Wiest (twice), Martin Landau, Judy Davis, Chazz Palminteri, Jennifer Tilly, Mira Sorvino, Sean Penn, Samantha Morton, Penélope Cruz, Cate Blanchett, Sally Hawkins and himself. Keaton, Caine, Wiest (both times), Sorvino, Cruz, and Blanchett won Oscars for their performances in one of his movies.
141Although he is barely interested in awards, he's one of the Academy's favorites - his 16 Oscar Nominations for Best Original Screenplay as of 2014 are a record for that category, and puts him ahead of Billy Wilder, who had 19 combined Oscar nominations for Writing and Directing. With 24 nominations in the combination of the top-three categories--acting, directing and writing--he holds the record there as well.
142Longtime fan and season ticket holder of the NBA's New York Knicks.
143Woody's paternal grandparents, Isaac Koenigsberg and Jennie, were Russian Jewish immigrants. Woody's maternal grandparents, Leon Cherry and Sarah Hoff, were Austrian Jewish immigrants.
144Biological son, Ronan Farrow, graduated from college at 15 and was accepted into Yale Law School.
145Ranked #4 in Comedy Central's 100 Greatest Stand-Up Comedians of All Time.
146Has a look-alike puppet in the French show Les guignols de l'info (1988).
147Biography in: John Wakeman, editor. "World Film Directors, Volume Two, 1945-1985." Pages 20-29. New York: The H.W. Wilson Company, 1988.
148Has been nominated or won 136 awards, more than Charles Chaplin, Buster Keaton, and Harold Lloyd combined.
149Was voted the 19th greatest director of all time by Entertainment Weekly.
150Son of bookkeeper Martin Konigsberg (December 25, 1900-January 13, 2001) and his wife Nettie Konigsberg (November 8, 1906-January 27, 2002).
151Graduated from Midwood High School at Brooklyn College.
152Legally changed his name to Heywood Allen. Goes by "Woody" in honor of Woody Herman.
153In addition to being a comedian, musician and filmmaker, he is also a respected playwright.
154After completing his first musical, Everyone Says I Love You (1996), he stated that he'd like to do another in the future with an all-original score. Since making that statement, however, nothing has yet to materialize.
155He has more Academy Award nominations (16) for writing than anyone else, all of them are in the Written Directly for the Screen category.
156Attended the Cannes Film Festival for the first time to receive the Palm of Palms award for lifetime achievement (2002).
157Wrote the concept for the film Hollywood Ending (2002) on the back of a matchbook. Years later, he found the matchbook with the notes for the film on it and made the film.
158Made his first appearance at the Oscars in Hollywood to make a plea for producers to continue filming their movies in New York after the 9/11 tragedy (2002).
159Despite the advancement of sound technology, all of his films are mixed and released in monaural sound, although later ones have a mono Dolby Digital mix.
160Born at 10:55 PM EST.
161Accused British interviewer Michael Parkinson of having a morbid interest in his private life and rejected questions about the custody battle for his children during his appearance on the BBC's Parkinson (1971) in 1999.
162One of the most prolific American directors of his generation, he has written, directed, and more often than not starred in a film just about every year since 1969.
163Among his biggest idols are Ingmar Bergman, Groucho Marx, Federico Fellini, Cole Porter, and Anton Chekhov.
164Was once invited to appear with the Royal Shakespeare Company. Stanley Kubrick also considered casting him in Sydney Pollack's part in Eyes Wide Shut (1999).
165Older brother of Letty Aronson.
166Adopted his second daughter Manzie Tio Allen, named after Manzie Johnson, a drummer with Sidney Bechet's band, after she had been born in Texas. (February 2000).
167Chosen by Empire magazine as one of the 100 Sexiest Stars in film history (#89) (1995).
168He loves Venice, and helped to raise funds to rebuild the Venetian theater La Fenice, which was destroyed by a fire.
169Suspended from New York University.
170He and former lover Mia Farrow had three children: Moses Farrow (adopted son, aka Misha), Dylan O'Sullivan Farrow (adopted daughter, aka Mallone), and Satchel Farrow (biological son, b. 1988, aka Ronan).
171Refuses to watch any of his movies once released.
172Speaks French.
173Ranked #43 in Empire (UK) magazine's Top 100 Movie Stars of All Time list (October 1997).
174His adopted daughter Bechet Dumaine, named after Sidney Bechet, was born in December 1998.

#Quote
1[2015 Cannes Film Festival, when asked if he had seen Cate Blanchett since Blue Jasmine (2013) and his relationship with his casts after filming] I have not seen or spoken to Cate since that movie. You know, it's very professional. Emma (Stone) and I did a movie a couple of years ago, and then afterward we did another movie, but, you know, people go their separate ways after a film and it's all very, very professional. You come in, you shoot the film and then on the last day of filming, everybody is very teary and you're not going to see the people anymore, but then you go off and you get on with your life, so I have not seen Cate or spoken with Cate since that picture was over.
2When I made Stardust Memories (1980), it was my own personal favorite film that I had made till that time. It was the first film I had made that I really got rapped on because people - and this may have been my lack of skill, I don't know - felt that what I was saying in the film was that my audience are fools for liking me, that I was demeaning the audience, when that's not what I was doing. I'd never felt that way about the audience, and if I did feel that way I would have been too smart to put it in a movie or anything like that, it was just the furthest thing from my mind - it would not have occurred to me. But through my lack of skill, I managed to convey that other thought and not my intended thought to the audience. The business about "I like your early, funny movies" was just one of the things that occurred to me that I used - it didn't have extra meaning or particular personal meaning, it was just something that occurred to me that I thought was amusing, but no more amusing than the other things that people were asking for and so I used it and it rang a bell with people. They thought the character was me, that I was that character, that I didn't like making comedies, that I thought they were foolish for liking the comedies, but of course none of this had even occurred to me - I feel fine with my early, funny movies: Bananas (1971) and Take the Money and Run (1969) - they were fun to make.
3[on directing Joaquin Phoenix] He's full of emotion and agony. If he says, "Pass the salt", it's like the scene where Oedipus puts out his eyes.
4When I see cool films, no matter how beautiful they are, there's something off-putting about them. I have all my characters - or 99% of the characters - dress in autumnal clothes, beiges, and browns, and yellows, and greens. And I have Santo Loquasto make the sets look as warm as possible. And I like the lighting to be very warm, and I color-correct things so that they're very red. When Darius Khondji was color-correcting Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011), we went all out and made it red, red, red in color-correction. It makes it like a Matisse. Matisse said that he wanted his paintings to be a nice easy chair that you sit down in, and enjoy. I feel the same way: I want you to sit back, relax and enjoy the warm color, like take a bath in warm color. It's like how I play the clarinet with a big, fat, warm tone as opposed to a cool sound that's more liquid, or fluid. I prefer a thicker, richer, warmer sound. The same with color; I feel it has a subliminal effect on the viewer in a positive way.
5[Asked in a 2008 interview with "Moving Pictures Magazine" why he called himself Heywood or Woody] It was just arbitrary, just came out of a hat to function for the occasion. It had no meaning whatsoever. It was just arbitrary anonymity that I wanted.
6I told him to go forth and multiply, but not in so many words.
7[at the premiere of Cassandra's Dream (2007) at the 2007 Toronto International Film Festival, before showing the movie] Thank you all very much. I hope you enjoy this film, we had a lot of fun making it, and I just hope you have a good time watching it. So sit back and, you know, give it your best shot and if we ever meet again, be kind.
8I'm very nice to all the actors, and I never raise my voice. I give them a lot of freedom to work, to change my words, and they see in five minutes that I'm not a threat. That they're not gonna have to worry. They are not dealing with some kind of cult genius or some kind of formidable person. Or someone who's a temper tantrum person. You know, they see right away that this guy is going to be a pushover for me. And I am.
9If I had my life to live over I would do everything the exact same way - except with the possible exception of seeing the movie remake of Lost Horizon (1937).
10I never see a frame of anything I've done after I've done it. I don't even remember what's in the films. And if I'm on the treadmill and I'm surfing the channels and suddenly Manhattan (1979) or some other picture comes on, I go right past it. If I saw Manhattan again, I would only see the worst. I would say: "Oh, God, this is so embarrassing. I could have done this. I should have done that." So I spare myself.
11[on his fear of flying] It's something I'm not thrilled with. I'm always sitting in my seat bracing for the crashing of the plane, but I can't avoid flying because if I don't fly I can't go to places to shoot a film or do promotion for it. And since my wife doesn't have any phobias, she has no fear of flying, nor do my children, so I fly to accommodate them, but it's very difficult for me and always with clenched fists.
12I've never thought of myself as an actor. I could never play Chekhov or a big range of characters but there are one or two things I can do: I can play a bookmaker or a low-life agent like in Broadway Danny Rose (1984), or because I look scholarly - although I'm not - I can play some kind of intellectual and get away with it. I have no method whatsoever and I don't rehearse or practice and I never took a lesson. It's just a very limited thing I can do and if there's a need for that sort of character you can hire me and I'll do it, but if there's a need for something more complex then you get Dustin Hoffman.
13[In 2012]: I always wanted to be a foreign filmmaker. But I'm from Brooklyn so I couldn't be because I wasn't foreign. But all of a sudden, through happy accidents, I've become one, to such a degree that I'm even writing subtitles. So I'm thrilled with that. The language is never a problem because when you're making a movie there are only a few things you ever talk about and you learn them right away. I did three pictures with a Chinese cameraman who didn't speak a word of English - not a word. And it didn't matter at all because we were only talking about the lighting and the angle.
14[on shooting To Rome with Love (2012) in 2011] I had been speaking to the Italian people for years about doing a film there and when they said they'd finance it of course I was happy to shoot it there. I felt it lent itself to so many diverse tales. If you stop a hundred Romans they'll tell you: "I'm from the city, I know it well and I could give you a million stories."
15Europeans started to finance my films very, very generously, and they did so under my rules, which means they don't interfere with me in any way, they don't read my scripts, they don't know what I'm doing and they just have faith that I'll make a film that won't embarrass anyone. It started off in London in 2004 with Match Point (2005) and then I kept going.
16[In 2012] I make films for literate people. I have to assume there are many millions of people in the world who are educated and literate and want sophisticated entertainment that does not cater to the lowest common denominator and is not all about car crashes and bathroom jokes.
17[Los Angeles] is not a city I could ever live in because I'm not temperamentally suited to the lifestyle here. I could never survive getting up in the morning and seeing all that sunshine and having to get into a car to go anywhere. But I have lots of friends here and I enjoy coming out for a couple of days, eating at a couple of great restaurants, having some laughs and then going home.
18Believe it or not, there are many terrible things about being famous and many wonderful things, too. In the end, the good things are better than the bad, so if you have the chance, it's better to be famous.
19My parents both lived to ripe old ages but absolutely refused to pass their genes to me as they believed an inheritance often spoils the child.
20I am not a hypochondriac but a totally different genus of crackpot.
21There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
22I'm very happy doing films. I wrote a novel, but it didn't come out well and I put it away. I would like to write for the theatre again, and I will continue to write for The New Yorker. But I don't have to knock myself out to do one film a year - a year's a long time to make a film. I don't make these films like, say, Steven Spielberg, where I take three years and a hundred million dollars. My films are much less ambitious. It's easy for me. I finish a film and I'm sitting around the house and have other ideas; I get them together and I write them. I don't require much money to make a film, so it's not hard for me to get funded. And I'm a good bet for an investor, because I work fast and inexpensively. And when the film is released, before you know it, the small amount that it cost, they've made back. Then once in a while, if I hit one that is popular - like Match Point (2005), which made a hundred million dollars - then everybody makes a lot of money on it. Everybody except me. [2011]
23Editing is that moment when you give up every hope you have of making a great piece of art and you have to settle with what you have.
24I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me; I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
25[The French] think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses, and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
26Making films is a very nice way to make a living. You work with beautiful women, and charming men, who are amusing and gifted; you work with art directors and costume people ... you travel places, and the money's good. It's a nice living.
27[European backers support me when Americans won't] You'd think that after a hit like Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011) - made a lot of money, not by The Dark Knight (2008) standards, but by my standards - there would be some companies that would want to do a film with you. But I didn't get a single offer. Not one ... and then an Italian company I'd been talking to for years was willing to put up money.
28If you're a celebrity, you can get good medical treatment. I can get a doctor on the weekends. I can get the results of my biopsy quickly.
29[Ageing] is a bad business. It's a confirmation that the anxieties and terrors I've had all my life were accurate. There's no advantage to ageing. You don't get wiser, you don't get more mellow, you don't see life in a more glowing way. You have to fight your body decaying, and you have less options. The only thing you can do is what you did when you were 20 - because you're always walking with an abyss right under your feet; they can be hoisting a piano on Park Avenue and drop it on your head when you're 20 - which is to distract yourself. Getting involved in a movie [occupies] all my anxiety: did I write a good scene for Cate Blanchett? If I wasn't concentrated on that, I'd be thinking of larger issues. And those are unresolvable, and you're checkmated whichever way you go.
30To have been the lead character in a juicy scandal - a really juicy scandal - that will always be a part of what people think of when they think of me. It doesn't bother me. It doesn't please me. It's a non-factor. But it's a true factor.
31My experience has been, with one exception [Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011)], that when I do a film in a foreign country, the toughest audience for me is that country. In Italy, they said: 'This guy doesn't understand Italy.' And I can't argue with those criticisms. I'm an American, and that's how I see Barcelona or Rome or England. If the situation was reversed, and somebody from a foreign country made a film here, I might very well be saying: 'Yeah, it's OK, but this guy really doesn't get New York.' And I'd be right. And I'm sure they're right.
32I have an idea for a story, and I think to myself, "my God, this is a combination of Eugene O'Neill, and Tennessee Williams, and Arthur Miller" ... but that's because [when you're writing] you don't have to face the test of reality. You're at home, in your house, it's all in your mind. Now, when it's almost over, and I see what I've got, I start to think: "what have I done? This is going to be such an embarrassment! Can I salvage it?" All your grandiose ideas go out the window. You realise you made a catastrophe, and you think: "what if I put the last scene first, drop this character, put in narration? What if I shoot one more scene, to make him not leave his wife, but kill his wife?" [But nine times out of ten, after the screening of the first rough cut,] the feeling is: "OK, now don't panic." The other 10% of the time, it's: "OK. That's not as bad as I thought."
33I'm just trying to be objective and honest. If you were having a 10-film festival and showing Citizen Kane (1941) on Monday, Rashomon (1950) on Tuesday, Bicycle Thieves (1948), The Seventh Seal (1957) ... I don't think anything I've ever made could be placed in a festival with those films and hold its own.
34There are lots of nice advantages that you get, being a celebrity. The tabloid things, the bumps in the road, they come and they go. Most people don't have as big a bump as I had, but even the big bump - it's not life-threatening. It's not like the doctor's saying: 'I looked at these x-rays of your brain, and there's this little thing growing there.' Tabloid things can be handled. I just don't want a shadow on my lung on the x-ray.
35I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history; Charlie Chaplin (Charles Chaplin), Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
36What you're left with, in the end, are very grisly, unpleasant facts. You can't avoid them, you can't escape them. The best you can do, as far as I see it at the moment - maybe I'll get some other insight someday - is distract. I work all the time, I plunge myself into trivial problems, problems that are not life-threatening: How I'm going to work my third act, or can I get this actress to be in the movie, or am I over budget? These are my problems that obsess me, so I don't sit home and think about the fact that the universe is flying apart at breakneck speed as we're sitting here.
37I have a very pessimistic view of everything. Obviously, I'm not a religious person, and I don't have any respect for the religious point of view. I tolerate it, but I find it a mindless grasp of life. [It's] the same thing with the philosophers who tell you that the meaning of life consists of what meaning you give it. I don't buy that, either. It's very unsatisfying.
38I've shown the older one, [daughter] Bechet, a number of Alfred Hitchcock movies, and I've shown them both [daughters] a couple of The Marx Brothers movies. But they're not that interested ... I try to encourage them musically and guide them cinematically, but my opinion ... I represent the Old World, the Europe from which they took boats to escape.
39My own feeling was always [that] I was totally uninterested in what anyone thought. I loved Soon-Yi Previn and it was a serious thing, not frivolous. We've been together for years, and it's been, on a personal basis, the best years of my life, really. And certainly the best of hers - not because of my scintillating personality, but it really brought her out of herself. She really had a chance to get into the world.
40[I'm] depressed on a low flame.
41It isn't just psychological, when you're getting closer to death that time passes faster. I think something happens physiologically so that you experience time in a very different way ... It's also scary, as you'll see when you get older. It doesn't get better. You don't mellow, you don't gain wisdom and insight. You start to experience joint pain.
42[on "Ozymandias melancholia," a term for the sense of inevitable decline which he first coined in Stardust Memories (1980)] It's a phenomenon that I think everybody gets afflicted with, certainly the poet [Percy Bysshe Shelley] did, but I get afflicted with it. And you feel it really very much in Rome, because you see those ancient ruins and you're hyper-aware of the fact that thousands of yeas ago, there was a civilization that was mighty, the most dominant civilization in the world, and how glorious it must have been. And now it's a couple of bricks here and a couple of bricks there, and someone's sitting on the bricks eating their sandwich.
43For me, success is, I'm in my bedroom at home and get an idea and I think it's a great idea and then I write it, and I look at the script and I say, 'My God, I've written a good script here.' And then I execute it. And if I execute the thing properly, then I feel great. If people come, it's a delightful bonus.
44[American financiers] don't like to work the way I like to work. They like to read the script and have some input. They want to say, 'Well, we'll let you cast who you want, but if you can get Brad Pitt, we'd much prefer you got him.' ... We don't do that, though. We don't let them see the script, or have anything to say. So I have a lot of trouble raising money in this country.
45That, or anything I ever won, has never changed my life one iota. And the fact that Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011) made $160 million meant zero in terms of anyone - and by anyone I mean no one - stepping forward and saying, 'We'd like to bankroll your next film.'
46[on why he always skips the Oscars] They always have it on Sunday night. And it's always - you can look this up - it's always opposite a good basketball game. And I'm a big basketball fan. So it's a great pleasure for me to come home and get into bed and watch a basketball game. And that's exactly where I was, watching the game.
47I'm not as crazy as they [fans who meet me] think I am. They think I'm a major neurotic and that I'm phobic and incompetent and I'm not. I'm very average, middle class. I get up in the morning, I have a wife and kids, I work, I've been productive, I practice my horn, I go to ballgames, it's a normal kind of thing. I have some quirks, but everybody has some quirks.
48[on playing his screen persona] It's effortless. It's the only thing I can do. I'm not an actor. I can't play Chekhov, I can't play Shakespeare or Strindberg. I can do that thing that I do. There's a few different kinds of things I can act credibly. I can play an intellectual or a low-life.
49I finished writing the script [for To Rome with Love (2012)] and saw that there was a part that I could play. I never force it. I never write something for myself. I'm trying to be faithful to the idea. If I had made To Rome with Love in the United States, I could have played Roberto Benigni's part. If I was fifty years younger, I would have played Jesse Eisenberg's part. Right now, I'm reduced to fathers of fiancees.
50Life is full of misery, loneliness and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
51[To Stu Hample on developing the comic strip "Inside Woody Allen"] Need more character engagement - instead of jokes being free-floating, they must be jokes on the way to character development. Jokes are like the decorations on the Christmas tree - but it's a beautiful tree you need to start with. Only then can you hang baubles on it. (Sorry for the disgusting metaphor.)
52[Directing']s a great loafer's job. Much less stressful than if I were running around delivering chicken sandwiches in a deli somewhere.
53My sets are boring. Nothing exciting ever happens, and I barely talk to the actors.
54[on Anything Else (2003)] The cast is wonderful and I thought it was an interesting story and full of good jokes and good ideas. Somebody said it summed up everything that I always say in movies - they were saying this positively - and maybe it did and that was a negative for me. I don't know. I had screening of it and people seemed to love it. Again, it was one of those pictures that nobody came to. You know, a lot of it is the luck of the draw with someone like me. I'm review-dependent. You hit a guy who likes the film and writes a good review of it, it might possibly do business. The exact same film, if that reviewer's sick that day and the other critic on the paper doesn't like it, then it doesn't do business. There are many, many people making films who are not review-dependent and it doesn't matter what anybody says about them, they have an audience. I only have to mention Spider-Man (2002). With me, it depends who's writing the review. But I did think Anything Else was a funny movie. I thought it was a good movie. I was crazy about Christina [Ricci], and Jason [Biggs] was adorable and Stockard Channing is always a really strong actress.
55[on Shadows and Fog (1991)] I think I did a good job directing it and Santo Loquasto's sets are beautiful. But the picture is in the writing and people weren't interested in the story. You know when you're doing a black-and-white picture that takes place in a European city at night in the twenties, you're not going to make big bucks. Nobody liked the picture. Carlo Di Palma won an award for it in Italy. It just looked great. There was pleasure in the way it was photographed, and in making it. I make these films to amuse myself, or should I say to distract myself. I wanted to see what it would be like making a film all on a set, outdoors being indoors. And setting it during one night and having all these characters and this old European quality to it. The hope is that others will enjoy it when I'm finished. It fulfilled that desire that keeps me working, that keeps me in the film business. I do all my films for my own personal reasons, and I hope that people will like them and I'm always gratified when I hear they do. But if they don't, there's nothing I can do about that because I don't set out to make them for approval - I like approval, but I don't make them for approval.
56[on Stardust Memories (1980)] I wanted to make a stylish film. Gordon Willis and I liked to work in black and white and I wanted to make a picture about an artist who theoretically should be happy. He has everything in the world - health, success, wealth, notoriety - but in fact he doesn't have anything, he's very unhappy. The point of the story is that he can't get used to the fact that he's mortal and that all his wealth and fame and adulation are not going to preserve him in any meaningful way - he, too, will age and die. At the beginning of the movie you see him wanting to make a serious statement even though he is really a comic filmmaker. Of course, this part is naturally identified with me even though the tale is total fabrication. I never had the feelings of the protagonist in real life. When I made Stardust Memories I didn't feel I was a much adored filmmaker whose life was miserable and all around me things were terrible. I thought I was a respectable moviemaker and the perks of success - as I said in my film Celebrity (1998) - actually outweighed the downside. I was never blocked, conflicted much, or steeped in gloom - though I often played that character. I did it again later in Deconstructing Harry (1997). That character is also a writer but nothing like me. I wanted to make Stardust Memoies stylish. It's a dream film; the attempt is poetic. I'm not saying it comes off but the intent is poetic, so you're not locked in to a realistic story. You could certainly tell a realistic story about a guy who has everything and is unhappy but I was trying to do it on a more fantastic level. I feel if you give the film a chance, there are some rewards in it. It's dense. I haven't seen it in many years, but when I finished it I was very satisfied with it and it was my favorite film to that time.
57I've always felt close to a European sensibility. It's a happy accident: when I was a young man and most impressionable, all these great European films were flooding New York City. I was very influenced by those films. I comes out in my work without trying to. It's like if you grow up hearing Mozart your whole life at home and you start to write music, probably what comes out - until you develop your own style - is an imitation of Mozart, to some degree. And that's what happened with me and films. I've very often relied on European cinema as a crutch or as a guide. The films I grew up with - Bergman and Fellini and Kurosawa and De Sica and Antonioni - just left an indelible mark on me. It's the same with certain American films that impressed me as a young boy, like The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948) and Citizen Kane (1941) and Double Indemnity (1944). There have been very few American films since that have equalled the impact those films had on me, because I do think the time you see them figures into it. Consequently my films have been well appreciated in Europe, more than the United States, where it's been so-so.
58Not only does my play have no redeeming social value, it has no entertainment value. I wrote this sprightly little one-acter only to test out my new paper shredder. If there is any positive message at all in the narrative, it is that life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
59I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
60My films have developed over the years. They've gone from films that started out as strips of jokes and funny gags to more character-oriented things - slightly deeper stories where I've sacrificed some laughs. And sometimes I've tried to make serious pictures without any laughs at all. You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010) is probably a film I wouldn't have been able to make 20 years ago, because I feel I wouldn't have had the depth to make it. I'm forever pessimistic about everything in life, except my work. I feel that my best work is still to come, and I keep working and trying. It may be foolish and misplaced optimism, but nevertheless I'm optimistic. I feel I've always progressed. I've always made the film I wanted to make that year, and the films I made later were better than the ones I made earlier. Manhattan (1979) and Annie Hall (1977) were quite popular, but they were not as good as, say, Match Point (2005), which was a better film than both of those films. Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011) I think will be seen as a better film. Viki, Kristina, Barselona (2008) is a better film than those I made years ago. But it's capricious. I get an idea for a film and I do it, and if I'm right in my judgment, and in execution, then the film turns out to be a good film, a step forward. If I guessed wrong and I thought the idea was wonderful and it's really not, or I execute badly, then the film is not such a good film. But it doesn't have anything to do with the chronology. [2011]
61[on the controversy surrounding his marriage to Soon-Yi] What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now. There was no scandal, but people refer to it all the time as a scandal. I kind of like that in a way because when I go I would like to say I had one juicy scandal in my life.
62If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
63Well, I'm against [the aging process]. I think it has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again. I've experienced that thing where you wake up in the middle of the night and you start to think about your own mortality and envision it, and it gives you a little shiver. That's what happens to Anthony Hopkins at the beginning of [You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010)], and from then on in, he did not want to hear from his more realistic wife, "Oh, you can't keep doing that - you're not young anymore." Yes, she's right, but nobody wants to hear that.
64To me, there's no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They're all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.
65[on why he chose in 2010 to read his short stories for Adiobook]: I was persuaded in a moment of apathy when I was convinced I had a fatal illness and would not live much longer. I don't own a computer, have no idea how to work one, don't own a word processor, and have zero interest in technology. Many people thought it would be a nice idea for me to read my stories, and I gave in.
66I can only hope that reading out loud does not contribute to the demise of literature, which I don't think will ever happen. When I grew up, one could always hear T.S. Eliot, William Butler Yeats, S.J. Perelman and a host of others read on the Caedmon label, and it was its own little treat that in no way encroached on the pleasure of reading these people.
67Sarah Palin is a colourful spice in the general recipe of democracy. She's a sexy woman. Yes. Me and Sarah - we could do a romance.
68Like Boris [from Whatever Works (2009)] I fight it all the time. I've always been lucky: I've never experienced depression. I get sad and blue, but within a certain limit. I've always been able to work freely, to play my clarinet and enjoy women and sport - although I am always aware of the fact that I am operating within a nightmarish context that life itself is a cruel, meaningless, terrible kind of thing. God forbid the people who have bad luck, or even neutral luck, because even the luckiest, the most beautiful and brilliant, what have they got? A minuscule, meaningless life span in the grand scheme of things.
69[on his character Mickey's personal crisis in Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)]: I think it should be interpreted to mean that there are these oases, and life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do.... I feel that one can come up with all these rationalizations and seemingly astute observations, but I think I said it well at the end of Deconstructing Harry (1997): we all know the same truth; our lives consist of how we choose to distort it, and that's it. Everybody knows how awful the world is and what a terrible situation it is and each person distorts it in a certain way that enables him to get through. Some people distort it with religious things. Some people distort it with sports, with money, with love, with art, and they all have their own nonsense about what makes it meaningful, and all but nothing makes it meaningful. These things definitely serve a certain function, but in the end they all fail to give life meaning and everyone goes to his grave in a meaningless way.
70I feel that is true-that one can commit a crime, do unspeakable things, and get away with it. There are people who commit all sorts of crimes and get away with it, and some of them are plagued with all sorts of guilt for the rest of their lives and others aren't. They commit terrible crimes and they have wonderful lives, wonderful, happy lives, with families and children, and they have done unspeakably terrible things. There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.... Some people cope better than others. I was with Billy Graham once, and he said that even if it turned out in the end that there is no God and the universe is empty, he would still have had a better life than me. I understand that. If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life.
71I didn't see Shane (1953) as a martyred figure, a persecuted figure. I saw him as quite a heroic figure who does a job that needs to be done, a practical matter. I saw him as a practical secular character. In this world there are just some people who need killing and that is just the way it is. It sounds terrible, but there is no other way to get around that, and most of us are not up to doing it, incapable for moral reasons or physically not up to it. And Shane (1953) is a person who saw what had to be done and went out and did it. He had the skill to do it, and that's the way I feel about the world: there are certain problems that can only be dealt with that way. As ugly a truth as that is, I do think it's the truth about the world.
72[the existence of God, life after death, the meaning of life] were always obsessions of mine, even as a very young child. These were things that interested me as the years went on. My friends were more preoccupied with social issues-issues such as abortion, racial discrimination, and Communism-and those issues just never caught my interest. Of course they mattered to me as a citizen to some degree...but they never really caught my attention artistically. I always felt that the problems of the world would never ever be solved until people came to terms with the deeper issues-that there would be an aimless reshuffling of world leaders and governments and programs. There was a difference, of course, but it was a minor difference as to who the president was and what the issues were. They seemed major, but as you step back with perspective they were more alike than they were different. The deeper issues always interested me.
73I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly. I was just doing what I was doing because it interested me, and in fact obsessed me. I was not doing it with an eye to manipulate the public. In fact, I probably would have had a larger public if I had gone in a different direction.
74You want some kind of relief from the agony and terror of human existence. Human existence is a brutal experience to me...it's a brutal, meaningless experience-an agonizing, meaningless experience with some oases, delight, some charm and peace, but these are just small oases. Overall, it is a brutal, brutal, terrible experience, and so it's what can you do to alleviate the agony of the human condition, the human predicament? That is what interests me the most. I continue to make the films because the problem obsesses me all the time and it's consistently on my mind and I'm consistently trying to alleviate the problem, and I think by making films as frequently as I do I get a chance to vent the problems. There is some relief. I have said this before in a facetious way, but it is not so facetious: I am a whiner. I do get a certain amount of solace from whining.
75I think what I'm saying is that I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and that the only thing I can do is my little gift and do it the best I can, and that is about the best I can do, which is cold comfort.
76Whenever they ask women what they find appealing in men, a sense of humor is always one of the things they mention. Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them. So I'm saying to that character played by Goldie Hawn, "Why is that so important?" But it is important apparently because women have said to us that that is very, very important to them. I also feel that humor, just like Fred Astaire dance numbers or these lightweight musicals give you a little oasis. You are in this horrible world and for an hour and a half you duck into a dark room and it's air-conditioned and the sun is not blinding you and you leave the terror of the universe behind and you are completely transported into an escapist situation. The women are beautiful, the men are witty and heroic, nobody has terrible problems and this is a delightful escapist thing, and you leave the theatre refreshed. It's like drinking a cool lemonade and then after a while you get worn down again and you need it again. It seems to me that making escapist films might be a better service to people than making intellectual ones and making films that deal with issues. It might be better to just make escapist comedies that don't touch on any issues. The people just get a cool lemonade, and then they go out refreshed, they enjoy themselves, they forget how awful things are and it helps them-it strengthens them to get through the day. So I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
77[on Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)] Everything wonderful about that movie... is because of the way it was directed. Otherwise, I thought there were flaws in the writing of the movie and flaws in some of the performances of the movie. But the directing of the movie was so bravura and so superb, that it was just a knockout.
78The biggest personal shock to me of all the movies that I've done is that Hollywood Ending (2002) was not thought of as a first-rate, extraordinary comedy. I was stunned that it met with any resistance at all. I thought it was a very, very funny idea and I thought that I executed it absolutely fine, and that I was funny and that Téa Leoni was great. I thought it was a simple, funny idea that worked. I didn't think I blew it anywhere along the line - in performance, in shooting it, in the jokes, situations. When I showed it to the first couple of people, film writers, they said, "This is just great. This is one of the funniest movies you've done." But that's not what the subsequent reactions were. And I was so shocked. I generally don't love my own finished product but this one I did. I don't think many people would, but I would put it toward the top of my comedies. The audience didn't show up. I think if people had gone to see it they would have enjoyed it. But they didn't go to see it.
79[on Ingmar Bergman] He and I had dinner in his New York hotel suite; it was a great treat for me. I was nervous and really didn't want to go. But he was not at all what you might expect: the formidable, dark, brooding genius. He was a regular guy. He commiserated with me about low box-office grosses and women and having to put up with studios. The world saw him as a genius, and he was worrying about the weekend grosses. Yet he was plain and colloquial in speech, not full of profound pronunciamentos about life. Sven Nykvist told me that when they were doing all those scenes about death and dying, they'd be cracking jokes and gossiping about the actors' sex lives. I liked his attitude that a film is not an event you make a big deal out of. He felt filmmaking was just a group of people working. I copied some of that from him. At times he made two and three films in a year. He worked very fast; he'd shoot seven or eight pages of script at a time. They didn't have the money to do anything else. I think his films have eternal relevance, because they deal with the difficulty of personal relationships and lack of communication between people and religious aspirations and mortality, existential themes that will be relevant a thousand years from now. When many of the things that are successful and trendy today will have been long relegated to musty-looking antiques, his stuff will still be great.
80[on Michelangelo Antonioni] I knew him slightly and spent some time with him. He was thin as a wire and athletic and energetic and mentally alert. And he was a wonderful ping-pong player. I played with him; he always won because he had a great reach. That was his game.
81[on Shelley Duvall] She's a true one of a kind. She's so effective on the screen, that if she's cast properly, she's incapable of being anything else but fascinating.
82Retire and do what? I'd be doing the same thing as I do now: sitting at home writing a play, then characters, jokes and situations would come to me. So I don't know what else I would do with my time.
83If they said to me tomorrow, "We're pulling the plug and we're not giving you any more money to make films," that would not bother me in the slightest. I mean, I'm happy to write for the theatre. And if they wouldn't back any of my plays, I'm happy to sit home and write prose. But as long as there are people willing to put up the vast sums of money needed to make films, I should take advantage of it. Because there will come a time when they won't.
84I've never, ever in my life had any interference. I've always had final cut, no-one saw scripts, no-one saw casting. So since Take the Money and Run (1969), I've been spoiled. But recently, at about the time of Match Point (2005), the studios began to behave differently. They started to say, "Look, we like to make films with you and we'll give you the money, but we don't want to be treated as if we're just a bank, putting money in a bag and then just going away. You'll still have final cut and all of that, but we would like to see a script, know who you're casting and be involved in some way." I feel that this is a completely reasonable request, but I just wasn't used to working that way, so I went over to Europe. There's no studio system, so they don't care about any of that stuff. They're bankers. And they're happy to be bankers. They put up the money, you give them the film, and that's what they care about. That worked very well for me on Match Point (2005). So I did it again with Scoop (2006) and Cassandra's Dream (2007). And I made Viki, Kristina, Barselona (2008) in Spain under the same circumstances.
85I'm kind of, secretly, in the back of my mind, counting on living a long time. My father lived to a hundred. My mother lived to 95, almost 96. If there is anything to heredity, I should be able to make films for another 17 years. You never know. A piano could drop on my head. (December 2005)
86[on his least favorite of his own films, Manhattan (1979)] I hated that one. I even made Stardust Memories (1980) for United Artists just so Manhattan would stay on the shelf. And even after those efforts, I still can't believe even to this day how it became so commercially successful. I can't believe I got away with it.
87[on Match Point (2005)] To me, it is strictly about luck. Life is such a terrifying experience - it's very important to feel, "I don't believe in luck, Well, I make my luck." Well, the truth of the matter is, you don't make your luck. So I wanted to show that here was a guy - and I symbolically made him a tennis player - who's a pretty bad guy, and yet my feeling is, in life, if you get the breaks - if the luck bounces your way, you know - you can not only get by, you can flourish in the same way that I felt Marty Landau could in Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989). If you can kill somebody - if you have no moral sense - there's no God out there that's suddenly going to hit you with lightning. Because I don't believe in God. So this is what was on my mind: the enormous unfairness of the world, the enormous injustice of the world, the sense that every day people get away with the worst kinds of crimes. So it's a pessimistic film, in that sense.
88I've been around a long time, and some people may just get tired of me, which I can understand. I've tried to keep my films different over the years, but it's like they complain, "We've eaten Chinese food every day this week." I want to say, "Well, yes, but you had a shrimp meal and you had a pork meal and you had a chicken meal." They say, "Yes, yes, but it's all Chinese food." That's the way I feel about myself. I have a certain amount of obsessive themes and a certain amount of things I'm interested in and no matter how different the film is, whether it's Small Time Crooks (2000) here or Zelig (1983) there, you find in the end that it's Chinese food. If you're not in the mood for my obsessions, then you may not be in the mood for my film. Now, hopefully, if I make enough films, some of them will come out fresh, but there's no guarantee. It's a crapshoot every time I make one. It could come out interesting or you might get the feeling that, God, I've heard this kvetch before - I don't know.
89If I write a film and there is a part in it for me - great. But if I sit down in advance and think, "I'd like to be in this film," or "It's been a long time since I've been in a film so it would be fun to do one," then all of a sudden there's an enormous amount of limits and compromise. I can only play a few things so that compromises the idea instantly. I think Deconstructing Harry (1997) would have been better with Dustin Hoffman or Robert De Niro, for sure. I also tried very hard to get another actor to play the part I did in The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001). I think we tried to see if Tom Hanks was available, and Nicholson. Either they weren't available or didn't want to do it. So I finally played that part. And I shouldn't have, because it wasn't my usual kind of role, and I think that hurt the film.
90I've never felt that if I waited five years between films, I'd make better ones. I just make one when I feel like making it. And it comes out to be about one a year. Some of them come out good, and some of them come out less than good. Some of them may be very good and some may be very bad. But I have no interest in an overall plan for them or anything.
91[on 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)] It was one of the few times in my life that I realized that the artist was so much ahead of me.
92I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
93I never had a teacher who made the least impression on me and if you ask who are my heroes, the answer is simple and truthful: George S. Kaufman and the Marx Brothers.
94It would be a disgrace and a humiliation if Barack Obama does not win... It would be a terrible thing if the American public was not moved to vote for him, that they actually preferred more of the same.
95[on directing an opera] He [Plácido Domingo] said, "What if we do the Puccini trilogy - it's three one-acts that are always done together? The first two, Billy Friedkin will direct. You'll only be responsible for a one-act, a one-hour opera, and it's funny." You know, funny to opera people is not funny to the Marx Brothers.
96[on directing the LA Opera, alongside William Friedkin] I figured, "Eh, I'll be dead before it happens. I'm 72. I'm never going to make it to the opera." But it came around, and next Monday, I start rehearsal. I'll just do the best I can and then get out of town and let them tar and feather Friedkin.
97Ireland's one of the few places that lives up to the hype, that is as beautiful as everyone tells you it is.
98I've made perfectly decent films, but not 8½ (1963), not The Seventh Seal (1957) ("The Seventh Seal"), The 400 Blows (1959) ("The 400 Blows") or L'Avventura (1960) - ones that to me really proclaim cinema as art, on the highest level. If I was the teacher, I'd give myself a B.
99I once thought there was a good argument between whether it's worth it to make a film where you confront the human condition, or an escape film. You could argue that the Fred Astaire film is performing a greater service than the Bergman film, because Ingmar Bergman is dealing with a problem that you're never going to solve. Whereas 'Fred Astaire', you walk in off the street, and for an hour and half they're popping champagne corks and making light banter and you get refreshed, like a lemonade.
100Your perception of time changes as you get older, because you see how brief everything is. You see how meaningless ... I don't want to depress you, but it's a meaningless little flicker.
101I was never bothered if a film was not well received. But the converse of that is that I never get a lot of pleasure out of it if it is. So it isn't like you can say, 'He's an uncompromising artist.' That's not true. I'm a compromising person, definitely. It's that I don't get much from either side.
102I can't really come up with a good argument to choose life over death. Except that I'm too scared.
103My mother always said I was a very cheerful kid until I was 5 years old, and then I turned gloomy.
104[Movies are a great diversion] because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
105I do feel that in everyday life people on a great spectrum get away with crime all the time, ranging from genocide to just street crime. Most crimes do go unsolved, and people commit murders and ruin other people and do the worst things in the world, and, you know, there's no one to penalize you if you don't have a sense of conscience about it. There is an element in life of enormous, enormous injustice that we live with all the time. It's just an ugly-but-true fact of life.
106[Responding to fans, skeptical of his plan to direct an opera] I have no idea what I am doing. But incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
107Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
10880% of success is showing up.
109I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
110I wasn't away. And I'm not back. Match Point (2005) was a film about luck, and it was a very lucky film for me. I did it the way I do all my pictures, and it just worked. I needed a rainy day, I got a rainy day. I needed sun, I got sun. Kate Winslet dropped out at the last moment because she wanted to be with her family, and Scarlett Johansson was available on two days' notice. It's like I couldn't ruin this picture no matter how hard I tried.
111I never wanted movies to be an end. I wanted them to be a means so that I could have a decent life -- meet attractive women, go out on dates, live decently. Not opulently, but with some security. I feel the same way now. A guy like Steven Spielberg will go live in the desert to make a movie, or Martin Scorsese will make a picture in India and set up camp and live there for four months. I mean, for me, if I'm not shooting in my neighborhood, it's annoying. I have no commitment to my work in that sense. No dedication.
112Stanley Kubrick was a great artist. I say this all the time and people think I'm being facetious. I'm not. Kubrick was a guy who obsessed over details and did 100 takes, and you know, I don't feel that way. If I'm shooting a film and it's 6 o'clock at night and I've got a take, and I think I might be able to get a better take if I stayed, but the Knicks tipoff is at 7:30, then that's it. The crews love working on my movies because they know they'll be home by 6.
113For me, being famous didn't help me that much. It helped a little. Warren Beatty once said to me many years ago, being a star is like being in a whorehouse with a credit card, and I never found that. For me, it was like being in a whorehouse with a credit card that had expired.
114I was thrown out of NYU [New York University] for cheating on my Metaphysics final. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
115I'm a practicing heterosexual, although bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
116It's true I had a lot of anxiety. I was afraid of the dark and suspicious of the light.
117Organized crime in America takes in over $40 billion a year and spends very little on office supplies.
118I don't believe in an afterlife, although I'm bringing along a change of underwear.
119My brain: It's my second favorite organ.
120Life is for the living.
121Most of life is tragic. You're born, you don't know why. You're here, you don't know why. You go, you die. Your family dies. Your friends die. People suffer. People live in constant terror. The world is full of poverty and corruption and war and Nazis and tsunamis. The net result, the final count is, you lose - you don't beat the house.
122Man was made in God's image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?
123I always think it is a mistake to try and be young, because I feel the young people in the United States have not distinguished themselves. The young audience in the United States have not proven to me that they like good movies or good theatre. The films that are made for young people are not wonderful films, they are not thoughtful. They are these blockbusters with special effects. The comedies are dumb, full of toilet jokes, not sophisticated at all. And these are the things the young people embrace. I do not idolize the young.
124With my complexion I don't tan, I stroke.
125[on shooting in London, 2004] In the United States things have changed a lot, and it's hard to make good small films now. There was a time in the 1950s when I wanted to be a playwright, because until that time movies, which mostly came out of Hollywood, were stupid and not interesting. Then we started to get wonderful European films, and American films started to grow up a little bit, and the industry became more fun to work in than the theatre. I loved it. But now it's taken a turn in the other direction and studios are back in command and are not that interested in pictures that make only a little bit of money. When I was younger, every week we'd get a Federico Fellini or an Ingmar Bergman or a Jean-Luc Godard or François Truffaut, but now you almost never get any of that. Filmmakers like myself have a hard time. The avaricious studios couldn't care less about good films - if they get a good film they're twice as happy, but money-making films are their goal. They only want these $100-million pictures that make $500 million. That's why I'm happy to work in London, because I'm right back in the same kind of liberal creative attitude that I'm used to.
126When I was in my early twenties, I knew a man who has since died, who was older than me and also very crazy. He'd been in a straitjacket and institutionalized, and I found him very brilliant. When I would speak to him about writing, about life, art, women, he was very, very cogent
  • but he couldn't lead his own life, he just couldn't manage.
127I know it sounds horrible, but winning that Oscar for Annie Hall (1977) didn't mean anything to me.
128I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
129[on the Academy Awards circa 1978] They're political and bought and negotiated for - although many worthy people have deservedly won - and the whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don't.
130Of course, I would love everybody to see my films. But I don't care enough ever to do anything about it. I would never change a word or make a movie that I thought they would like. I really don't care if they come or not. If they don't want to come, then they don't; if they do come, then great. Do I want to do what I do uncompromisingly, and would I love it if a big audience came? Yes, that would be very nice. I've never done anything to attract an audience, though I always get accused of it over the years.
131The sensibility of the film-maker infuses the project so people see a picture like Annie Hall (1977) and everyone thinks it's so autobiographical. But I was not from Coney Island, I was not born under a Ferris wheel, my father never worked at a place that had bumper cars, that's not how I met Diane Keaton, and that's not how we broke up. Of course, there's that character who's always beleaguered and harassed. Certain things are autobiographical, certain feelings, even occasionally an incident, but overwhelmingly they're totally made up, completely fabricated.
132I can bring stars, I've worked with terrific cameramen, but people still have a better chance of making their $150m films because they're not interested in the kind of profits I can bring if I'm profitable.
133The biggest flaw in being self-taught is there are gaps. You self-teach yourself something and you think you know something fairly well, but then there are gaps a university teacher would have taught you as part of a mandatory program. I would probably have been better off if I'd got a better general education, but I was just so bored.
134I was just a poor student. I had no interest in it. When I make a film the tacit contract with the audience is that I will give them some entertainment and not bore them. I have to do that. I just lay a message on them. Great filmmakers, like Ingmar Bergman or Akira Kurosawa or Federico Fellini, they're very entertaining, their films are fun. Well, in college they never made it entertaining for me, they just bored me stiff.
135When I was a kid, movies from Hollywood seemed very glamorous, but when you look back at them as a young man, you can see out of the thousands of films that came out of Hollywood there were really very few good ones statistically, and those few that were good were made in spite of the studios. I saw European films as a young man and they were very much better. There's no comparison.
136I had a line in one of my movies - 'Everyone knows the same truth.' Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it. One person will distort it with a kind of wishful thinking like religion, someone else will distort it by thinking political solutions are going to do something, someone else will think a life of sensuality is going to do it, someone else will think art transcends. Art for me has always been the Catholicism of the intellectuals. There is no afterlife for the Catholics really, and there's no afterlife for the arts. 'Your painting lived on after you' - well, that doesn't really do it. That's not what you want. Even if your painting does have some longevity, eventually that's going to go. There won't be any works of William Shakespeare or Ludwig van Beethoven, or any theatre to see them in, or air or light. I've always felt you've got to live your life within the context of this worst-case scenario. Which is true; the worst-case scenario is here.
137Hollywood for the most part aimed at the lowest common denominator. It's conceived in venality, it's motivated by pandering to the public, by making a lot of money. People like Ingmar Bergman thought about life, and they had feelings, and they wanted to dramatize them and engage one in a dialogue. I felt I couldn't easily be engaged by the nonsense that came out of Hollywood.
138The directors that have personal, emotional feelings for me are Ingmar Bergman and Federico Fellini, and I'm sure there has been some influence but never a direct one. I never set out to try and do anything like them. But, you know, when you listen to a jazz musician like Charlie Parker for years and you love it, then you start to play an instrument, you automatically play like that at first, then you branch off with your own things. The influence is there, it's in your blood.
139There was no ripple professionally for me at all when I was in the papers with my custody stuff. I made my films, I worked in the streets of New York, I played jazz every Monday night, I put a play on. Everything professionally went just the same. There were no repercussions. There was white-hot interest for a while, like with all things like that, and then it became uninteresting to people.
140[on being nominated for an Oscar for Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)] You have to be sure to keep it very much in perspective. You think it's nice at the time because it means more money for your film, but as soon as you let yourself start thinking that way, something happens to the quality of the work.
141[on the Academy Awards circa 1978] I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things -- or who doesn't win them -- you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
142[About the audience] I never write down to them. I always assume that they're all as smart as I am . . . if not smarter.
143[on why he never watches his own movies] I think I would hate them.
144My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
145Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
146If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
147To you, I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
148If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
149Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
150Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill 'em.
151The two biggest myths about me are that I'm an intellectual, because I wear these glasses, and that I'm an artist because my films lose money. Those two myths have been prevalent for many years.
152My relationship with Hollywood isn't love-hate, it's love-contempt. I've never had to suffer any of the indignities that one associates with the studio system. I've always been independent in New York by sheer good luck. But I have an affection for Hollywood because I've had so much pleasure from films that have come out of there. Not a whole lot of them, but a certain amount of them have been very meaningful to me.
153For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
154If my film makes one more person miserable, I'll feel I've done my job.
155[at the Academy Awards in 2002, explaining why he was the one introducing a montage of New York movies] And I said, 'You know, God, you can do much better than me. You know, you might want to get Martin Scorsese, or, or Mike Nichols, or Spike Lee, or Sidney Lumet...' I kept naming names, you know, and um, I said, 'Look, I've given you 15 names of guys who are more talented than I am, and, and smarter and classier...' And they said, 'Yes, but they weren't available.'
156Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
157I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.
158Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
159There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
160Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
161[on films] I can't imagine that the business should be run any other way than that the director has complete control of his films. My situation may be unique, but that doesn't speak well for the business -- it shouldn't be unique, because the director is the one who has the vision and he's the one who should put that vision onto film.
162[when asked if he liked the idea of living on on the silver screen] I'd rather live on in my apartment.
163On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
164[in 1977] This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
165I'm not afraid of dying... I just don't want to be there when it happens.
166I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying.
167[on directing Joaquin Phoenix] He's full of emotion and agony. If he says, "Pass the salt" it's like the scene where Oedipus puts out his eyes.
168When I see cool films, no matter how beautiful they are, there's something off-putting about them. I have all my characters - or 99% of the characters - dress in autumnal clothes, beiges, and browns, and yellows, and greens. And I have Santo Loquasto make the sets look as warm as possible. And I like the lighting to be very warm, and I color-correct things so that they're very red. When Darius Khondji was color-correcting Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011), we went all out and made it red, red, red in color-correction. It makes it like a Matisse. Matisse said that he wanted his paintings to be a nice easy chair that you sit down in, and enjoy. I feel the same way: I want you to sit back, relax and enjoy the warm color, like take a bath in warm color. It's like how I play the clarinet with a big, fat, warm tone as opposed to a cool sound that's more liquid, or fluid. I prefer a thicker, richer, warmer sound. The same with color; I feel it has a subliminal effect on the viewer in a positive way.
169[Asked in a 2008 interview with "Moving Pictures Magazine" why he called himself Heywood or Woody] It was just arbitrary, just came out of a hat to function for the occasion. It had no meaning whatsoever. It was just arbitrary anonymity that I wanted.
170I told him to go forth and multiply, but not in so many words.
171[at the premiere of Cassandra's Dream (2007) at the 2007 Toronto International Film Festival, before showing the movie] Thank you all very much. I hope you enjoy this film, we had a lot of fun making it, and I just hope you have a good time watching it. So sit back and, you know, give it your best shot and if we ever meet again, be kind.
172I'm very nice to all the actors, and I never raise my voice. I give them a lot of freedom to work, to change my words, and they see in five minutes that I'm not a threat. That they're not gonna have to worry. They are not dealing with some kind of cult genius or some kind of formidable person. Or someone who's a temper tantrum person. You know, they see right away that this guy is going to be a pushover for me. And I am.
173If I had my life to live over I would do everything the exact same way - except with the possible exception of seeing the movie remake of Lost Horizon (1937).
174I never see a frame of anything I've done after I've done it. I don't even remember what's in the films. And if I'm on the treadmill and I'm surfing the channels and suddenly Manhattan (1979) or some other picture comes on, I go right past it. If I saw Manhattan again, I would only see the worst. I would say: "Oh, God, this is so embarrassing. I could have done this. I should have done that." So I spare myself.
175[on his fear of flying] It's something I'm not thrilled with. I'm always sitting in my seat bracing for the crashing of the plane, but I can't avoid flying because if I don't fly I can't go to places to shoot a film or do promotion for it. And since my wife doesn't have any phobias, she has no fear of flying, nor do my children, so I fly to accommodate them, but it's very difficult for me and always with clenched fists.
176I've never thought of myself as an actor. I could never play Chekhov or a big range of characters but there are one or two things I can do: I can play a bookmaker or a low-life agent like in Broadway Danny Rose (1984), or because I look scholarly - although I'm not - I can play some kind of intellectual and get away with it. I have no method whatsoever and I don't rehearse or practice and I never took a lesson. It's just a very limited thing I can do and if there's a need for that sort of character you can hire me and I'll do it, but if there's a need for something more complex then you get Dustin Hoffman.
177[In 2012]: I always wanted to be a foreign filmmaker. But I'm from Brooklyn so I couldn't be because I wasn't foreign. But all of a sudden, through happy accidents, I've become one, to such a degree that I'm even writing subtitles. So I'm thrilled with that. The language is never a problem because when you're making a movie there are only a few things you ever talk about and you learn them right away. I did three pictures with a Chinese cameraman who didn't speak a word of English - not a word. And it didn't matter at all because we were only talking about the lighting and the angle.
178[on shooting To Rome with Love (2012) in 2011] I had been speaking to the Italian people for years about doing a film there and when they said they'd finance it of course I was happy to shoot it there. I felt it lent itself to so many diverse tales. If you stop a hundred Romans they'll tell you: "I'm from the city, I know it well and I could give you a million stories."
179Europeans started to finance my films very, very generously, and they did so under my rules, which means they don't interfere with me in any way, they don't read my scripts, they don't know what I'm doing and they just have faith that I'll make a film that won't embarrass anyone. It started off in London in 2004 with Match Point (2005) and then I kept going.
180[In 2012] I make films for literate people. I have to assume there are many millions of people in the world who are educated and literate and want sophisticated entertainment that does not cater to the lowest common denominator and is not all about car crashes and bathroom jokes.
181[Los Angeles] is not a city I could ever live in because I'm not temperamentally suited to the lifestyle here. I could never survive getting up in the morning and seeing all that sunshine and having to get into a car to go anywhere. But I have lots of friends here and I enjoy coming out for a couple of days, eating at a couple of great restaurants, having some laughs and then going home.
182Believe it or not, there are many terrible things about being famous and many wonderful things, too. In the end, the good things are better than the bad, so if you have the chance, it's better to be famous.
183My parents both lived to ripe old ages but absolutely refused to pass their genes to me as they believed an inheritance often spoils the child.
184I am not a hypochondriac but a totally different genus of crackpot.
185There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
186I'm very happy doing films. I wrote a novel, but it didn't come out well and I put it away. I would like to write for the theatre again, and I will continue to write for The New Yorker. But I don't have to knock myself out to do one film a year - a year's a long time to make a film. I don't make these films like, say, Steven Spielberg, where I take three years and a hundred million dollars. My films are much less ambitious. It's easy for me. I finish a film and I'm sitting around the house and have other ideas; I get them together and I write them. I don't require much money to make a film, so it's not hard for me to get funded. And I'm a good bet for an investor, because I work fast and inexpensively. And when the film is released, before you know it, the small amount that it cost, they've made back. Then once in a while, if I hit one that is popular - like Match Point (2005), which made a hundred million dollars - then everybody makes a lot of money on it. Everybody except me. [2011]
187Editing is that moment when you give up every hope you have of making a great piece of art and you have to settle with what you have.
188I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me; I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
189[The French] think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses, and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
190Making films is a very nice way to make a living. You work with beautiful women, and charming men, who are amusing and gifted; you work with art directors and costume people ... you travel places, and the money's good. It's a nice living.
191[European backers support me when Americans won't] You'd think that after a hit like Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011) - made a lot of money, not by The Dark Knight (2008) standards, but by my standards - there would be some companies that would want to do a film with you. But I didn't get a single offer. Not one ... and then an Italian company I'd been talking to for years was willing to put up money.
192If you're a celebrity, you can get good medical treatment. I can get a doctor on the weekends. I can get the results of my biopsy quickly.
193[Ageing] is a bad business. It's a confirmation that the anxieties and terrors I've had all my life were accurate. There's no advantage to ageing. You don't get wiser, you don't get more mellow, you don't see life in a more glowing way. You have to fight your body decaying, and you have less options. The only thing you can do is what you did when you were 20 - because you're always walking with an abyss right under your feet; they can be hoisting a piano on Park Avenue and drop it on your head when you're 20 - which is to distract yourself. Getting involved in a movie [occupies] all my anxiety: did I write a good scene for Cate Blanchett? If I wasn't concentrated on that, I'd be thinking of larger issues. And those are unresolvable, and you're checkmated whichever way you go.
194To have been the lead character in a juicy scandal - a really juicy scandal - that will always be a part of what people think of when they think of me. It doesn't bother me. It doesn't please me. It's a non-factor. But it's a true factor.
195My experience has been, with one exception [Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011)], that when I do a film in a foreign country, the toughest audience for me is that country. In Italy, they said: 'This guy doesn't understand Italy.' And I can't argue with those criticisms. I'm an American, and that's how I see Barcelona or Rome or England. If the situation was reversed, and somebody from a foreign country made a film here, I might very well be saying: 'Yeah, it's OK, but this guy really doesn't get New York.' And I'd be right. And I'm sure they're right.
196I have an idea for a story, and I think to myself, "my God, this is a combination of Eugene O'Neill, and Tennessee Williams, and Arthur Miller" ... but that's because [when you're writing] you don't have to face the test of reality. You're at home, in your house, it's all in your mind. Now, when it's almost over, and I see what I've got, I start to think: "what have I done? This is going to be such an embarrassment! Can I salvage it?" All your grandiose ideas go out the window. You realise you made a catastrophe, and you think: "what if I put the last scene first, drop this character, put in narration? What if I shoot one more scene, to make him not leave his wife, but kill his wife?" [But nine times out of ten, after the screening of the first rough cut,] the feeling is: "OK, now don't panic." The other 10% of the time, it's: "OK. That's not as bad as I thought."
197I'm just trying to be objective and honest. If you were having a 10-film festival and showing Citizen Kane (1941) on Monday, Rashomon (1950) on Tuesday, Bicycle Thieves (1948), The Seventh Seal (1957) ... I don't think anything I've ever made could be placed in a festival with those films and hold its own.
198There are lots of nice advantages that you get, being a celebrity. The tabloid things, the bumps in the road, they come and they go. Most people don't have as big a bump as I had, but even the big bump - it's not life-threatening. It's not like the doctor's saying: 'I looked at these x-rays of your brain, and there's this little thing growing there.' Tabloid things can be handled. I just don't want a shadow on my lung on the x-ray.
199I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history; Charlie Chaplin (Charles Chaplin), Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
200What you're left with, in the end, are very grisly, unpleasant facts. You can't avoid them, you can't escape them. The best you can do, as far as I see it at the moment - maybe I'll get some other insight someday - is distract. I work all the time, I plunge myself into trivial problems, problems that are not life-threatening: How I'm going to work my third act, or can I get this actress to be in the movie, or am I over budget? These are my problems that obsess me, so I don't sit home and think about the fact that the universe is flying apart at breakneck speed as we're sitting here.
201I have a very pessimistic view of everything. Obviously, I'm not a religious person, and I don't have any respect for the religious point of view. I tolerate it, but I find it a mindless grasp of life. [It's] the same thing with the philosophers who tell you that the meaning of life consists of what meaning you give it. I don't buy that, either. It's very unsatisfying.
202I've shown the older one, [daughter] Bechet, a number of Alfred Hitchcock movies, and I've shown them both [daughters] a couple of The Marx Brothers movies. But they're not that interested ... I try to encourage them musically and guide them cinematically, but my opinion ... I represent the Old World, the Europe from which they took boats to escape.
203My own feeling was always [that] I was totally uninterested in what anyone thought. I loved Soon-Yi Previn and it was a serious thing, not frivolous. We've been together for years, and it's been, on a personal basis, the best years of my life, really. And certainly the best of hers - not because of my scintillating personality, but it really brought her out of herself. She really had a chance to get into the world.
204[I'm] depressed on a low flame.
205It isn't just psychological, when you're getting closer to death that time passes faster. I think something happens physiologically so that you experience time in a very different way ... It's also scary, as you'll see when you get older. It doesn't get better. You don't mellow, you don't gain wisdom and insight. You start to experience joint pain.
206[on "Ozymandias melancholia," a term for the sense of inevitable decline which he first coined in Stardust Memories (1980)] It's a phenomenon that I think everybody gets afflicted with, certainly the poet [Percy Bysshe Shelley] did, but I get afflicted with it. And you feel it really very much in Rome, because you see those ancient ruins and you're hyper-aware of the fact that thousands of yeas ago, there was a civilization that was mighty, the most dominant civilization in the world, and how glorious it must have been. And now it's a couple of bricks here and a couple of bricks there, and someone's sitting on the bricks eating their sandwich.
207For me, success is, I'm in my bedroom at home and get an idea and I think it's a great idea and then I write it, and I look at the script and I say, 'My God, I've written a good script here.' And then I execute it. And if I execute the thing properly, then I feel great. If people come, it's a delightful bonus.
208[American financiers] don't like to work the way I like to work. They like to read the script and have some input. They want to say, 'Well, we'll let you cast who you want, but if you can get Brad Pitt, we'd much prefer you got him.' ... We don't do that, though. We don't let them see the script, or have anything to say. So I have a lot of trouble raising money in this country.
209That, or anything I ever won, has never changed my life one iota. And the fact that Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011) made $160 million meant zero in terms of anyone - and by anyone I mean no one - stepping forward and saying, 'We'd like to bankroll your next film.'
210[on why he always skips the Oscars] They always have it on Sunday night. And it's always - you can look this up - it's always opposite a good basketball game. And I'm a big basketball fan. So it's a great pleasure for me to come home and get into bed and watch a basketball game. And that's exactly where I was, watching the game.
211I'm not as crazy as they [fans who meet me] think I am. They think I'm a major neurotic and that I'm phobic and incompetent and I'm not. I'm very average, middle class. I get up in the morning, I have a wife and kids, I work, I've been productive, I practice my horn, I go to ballgames, it's a normal kind of thing. I have some quirks, but everybody has some quirks.
212[on playing his screen persona] It's effortless. It's the only thing I can do. I'm not an actor. I can't play Chekhov, I can't play Shakespeare or Strindberg. I can do that thing that I do. There's a few different kinds of things I can act credibly. I can play an intellectual or a low-life.
213I finished writing the script [for To Rome with Love (2012)] and saw that there was a part that I could play. I never force it. I never write something for myself. I'm trying to be faithful to the idea. If I had made To Rome with Love in the United States, I could have played Roberto Benigni's part. If I was fifty years younger, I would have played Jesse Eisenberg's part. Right now, I'm reduced to fathers of fiancees.
214Life is full of misery, loneliness and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
215[To Stu Hample on developing the comic strip "Inside Woody Allen"] Need more character engagement - instead of jokes being free-floating, they must be jokes on the way to character development. Jokes are like the decorations on the Christmas tree - but it's a beautiful tree you need to start with. Only then can you hang baubles on it. (Sorry for the disgusting metaphor.)
216[Directing']s a great loafer's job. Much less stressful than if I were running around delivering chicken sandwiches in a deli somewhere.
217My sets are boring. Nothing exciting ever happens, and I barely talk to the actors.
218[on Anything Else (2003)] The cast is wonderful and I thought it was an interesting story and full of good jokes and good ideas. Somebody said it summed up everything that I always say in movies - they were saying this positively - and maybe it did and that was a negative for me. I don't know. I had screening of it and people seemed to love it. Again, it was one of those pictures that nobody came to. You know, a lot of it is the luck of the draw with someone like me. I'm review-dependent. You hit a guy who likes the film and writes a good review of it, it might possibly do business. The exact same film, if that reviewer's sick that day and the other critic on the paper doesn't like it, then it doesn't do business. There are many, many people making films who are not review-dependent and it doesn't matter what anybody says about them, they have an audience. I only have to mention Spider-Man (2002). With me, it depends who's writing the review. But I did think Anything Else was a funny movie. I thought it was a good movie. I was crazy about Christina [Ricci], and Jason [Biggs] was adorable and Stockard Channing is always a really strong actress.
219[on Shadows and Fog (1991)] I think I did a good job directing it and Santo Loquasto's sets are beautiful. But the picture is in the writing and people weren't interested in the story. You know when you're doing a black-and-white picture that takes place in a European city at night in the twenties, you're not going to make big bucks. Nobody liked the picture. Carlo Di Palma won an award for it in Italy. It just looked great. There was pleasure in the way it was photographed, and in making it. I make these films to amuse myself, or should I say to distract myself. I wanted to see what it would be like making a film all on a set, outdoors being indoors. And setting it during one night and having all these characters and this old European quality to it. The hope is that others will enjoy it when I'm finished. It fulfilled that desire that keeps me working, that keeps me in the film business. I do all my films for my own personal reasons, and I hope that people will like them and I'm always gratified when I hear they do. But if they don't, there's nothing I can do about that because I don't set out to make them for approval - I like approval, but I don't make them for approval.
220[on Stardust Memories (1980)] I wanted to make a stylish film. Gordon Willis and I liked to work in black and white and I wanted to make a picture about an artist who theoretically should be happy. He has everything in the world - health, success, wealth, notoriety - but in fact he doesn't have anything, he's very unhappy. The point of the story is that he can't get used to the fact that he's mortal and that all his wealth and fame and adulation are not going to preserve him in any meaningful way - he, too, will age and die. At the beginning of the movie you see him wanting to make a serious statement even though he is really a comic filmmaker. Of course, this part is naturally identified with me even though the tale is total fabrication. I never had the feelings of the protagonist in real life. When I made Stardust Memories I didn't feel I was a much adored filmmaker whose life was miserable and all around me things were terrible. I thought I was a respectable moviemaker and the perks of success - as I said in my film Celebrity (1998) - actually outweighed the downside. I was never blocked, conflicted much, or steeped in gloom - though I often played that character. I did it again later in Deconstructing Harry (1997). That character is also a writer but nothing like me. I wanted to make Stardust Memoies stylish. It's a dream film; the attempt is poetic. I'm not saying it comes off but the intent is poetic, so you're not locked in to a realistic story. You could certainly tell a realistic story about a guy who has everything and is unhappy but I was trying to do it on a more fantastic level. I feel if you give the film a chance, there are some rewards in it. It's dense. I haven't seen it in many years, but when I finished it I was very satisfied with it and it was my favorite film to that time.
221I've always felt close to a European sensibility. It's a happy accident: when I was a young man and most impressionable, all these great European films were flooding New York City. I was very influenced by those films. I comes out in my work without trying to. It's like if you grow up hearing Mozart your whole life at home and you start to write music, probably what comes out - until you develop your own style - is an imitation of Mozart, to some degree. And that's what happened with me and films. I've very often relied on European cinema as a crutch or as a guide. The films I grew up with - Bergman and Fellini and Kurosawa and De Sica and Antonioni - just left an indelible mark on me. It's the same with certain American films that impressed me as a young boy, like The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948) and Citizen Kane (1941) and Double Indemnity (1944). There have been very few American films since that have equalled the impact those films had on me, because I do think the time you see them figures into it. Consequently my films have been well appreciated in Europe, more than the United States, where it's been so-so.
222Not only does my play have no redeeming social value, it has no entertainment value. I wrote this sprightly little one-acter only to test out my new paper shredder. If there is any positive message at all in the narrative, it is that life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
223I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
224My films have developed over the years. They've gone from films that started out as strips of jokes and funny gags to more character-oriented things - slightly deeper stories where I've sacrificed some laughs. And sometimes I've tried to make serious pictures without any laughs at all. You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010) is probably a film I wouldn't have been able to make 20 years ago, because I feel I wouldn't have had the depth to make it. I'm forever pessimistic about everything in life, except my work. I feel that my best work is still to come, and I keep working and trying. It may be foolish and misplaced optimism, but nevertheless I'm optimistic. I feel I've always progressed. I've always made the film I wanted to make that year, and the films I made later were better than the ones I made earlier. Manhattan (1979) and Annie Hall (1977) were quite popular, but they were not as good as, say, Match Point (2005), which was a better film than both of those films. Vidurnaktis Paryziuje (2011) I think will be seen as a better film. Viki, Kristina, Barselona (2008) is a better film than those I made years ago. But it's capricious. I get an idea for a film and I do it, and if I'm right in my judgment, and in execution, then the film turns out to be a good film, a step forward. If I guessed wrong and I thought the idea was wonderful and it's really not, or I execute badly, then the film is not such a good film. But it doesn't have anything to do with the chronology. [2011]
225[on the controversy surrounding his marriage to Soon-Yi] What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now. There was no scandal, but people refer to it all the time as a scandal. I kind of like that in a way because when I go I would like to say I had one juicy scandal in my life.
226If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
227Well, I'm against [the aging process]. I think it has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again. I've experienced that thing where you wake up in the middle of the night and you start to think about your own mortality and envision it, and it gives you a little shiver. That's what happens to Anthony Hopkins at the beginning of [You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010)], and from then on in, he did not want to hear from his more realistic wife, "Oh, you can't keep doing that - you're not young anymore." Yes, she's right, but nobody wants to hear that.
228To me, there's no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They're all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.
229[on why he chose in 2010 to read his short stories for Adiobook]: I was persuaded in a moment of apathy when I was convinced I had a fatal illness and would not live much longer. I don't own a computer, have no idea how to work one, don't own a word processor, and have zero interest in technology. Many people thought it would be a nice idea for me to read my stories, and I gave in.
230I can only hope that reading out loud does not contribute to the demise of literature, which I don't think will ever happen. When I grew up, one could always hear T.S. Eliot, William Butler Yeats, S.J. Perelman and a host of others read on the Caedmon label, and it was its own little treat that in no way encroached on the pleasure of reading these people.
231Sarah Palin is a colourful spice in the general recipe of democracy. She's a sexy woman. Yes. Me and Sarah - we could do a romance.
232Like Boris [from Whatever Works (2009)] I fight it all the time. I've always been lucky: I've never experienced depression. I get sad and blue, but within a certain limit. I've always been able to work freely, to play my clarinet and enjoy women and sport - although I am always aware of the fact that I am operating within a nightmarish context that life itself is a cruel, meaningless, terrible kind of thing. God forbid the people who have bad luck, or even neutral luck, because even the luckiest, the most beautiful and brilliant, what have they got? A minuscule, meaningless life span in the grand scheme of things.
233[on his character Mickey's personal crisis in Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)]: I think it should be interpreted to mean that there are these oases, and life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do.... I feel that one can come up with all these rationalizations and seemingly astute observations, but I think I said it well at the end of Deconstructing Harry (1997): we all know the same truth; our lives consist of how we choose to distort it, and that's it. Everybody knows how awful the world is and what a terrible situation it is and each person distorts it in a certain way that enables him to get through. Some people distort it with religious things. Some people distort it with sports, with money, with love, with art, and they all have their own nonsense about what makes it meaningful, and all but nothing makes it meaningful. These things definitely serve a certain function, but in the end they all fail to give life meaning and everyone goes to his grave in a meaningless way.
234I feel that is true-that one can commit a crime, do unspeakable things, and get away with it. There are people who commit all sorts of crimes and get away with it, and some of them are plagued with all sorts of guilt for the rest of their lives and others aren't. They commit terrible crimes and they have wonderful lives, wonderful, happy lives, with families and children, and they have done unspeakably terrible things. There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.... Some people cope better than others. I was with Billy Graham once, and he said that even if it turned out in the end that there is no God and the universe is empty, he would still have had a better life than me. I understand that. If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life.
235I didn't see Shane (1953) as a martyred figure, a persecuted figure. I saw him as quite a heroic figure who does a job that needs to be done, a practical matter. I saw him as a practical secular character. In this world there are just some people who need killing and that is just the way it is. It sounds terrible, but there is no other way to get around that, and most of us are not up to doing it, incapable for moral reasons or physically not up to it. And Shane (1953) is a person who saw what had to be done and went out and did it. He had the skill to do it, and that's the way I feel about the world: there are certain problems that can only be dealt with that way. As ugly a truth as that is, I do think it's the truth about the world.
236[the existence of God, life after death, the meaning of life] were always obsessions of mine, even as a very young child. These were things that interested me as the years went on. My friends were more preoccupied with social issues-issues such as abortion, racial discrimination, and Communism-and those issues just never caught my interest. Of course they mattered to me as a citizen to some degree...but they never really caught my attention artistically. I always felt that the problems of the world would never ever be solved until people came to terms with the deeper issues-that there would be an aimless reshuffling of world leaders and governments and programs. There was a difference, of course, but it was a minor difference as to who the president was and what the issues were. They seemed major, but as you step back with perspective they were more alike than they were different. The deeper issues always interested me.
237I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly. I was just doing what I was doing because it interested me, and in fact obsessed me. I was not doing it with an eye to manipulate the public. In fact, I probably would have had a larger public if I had gone in a different direction.
238You want some kind of relief from the agony and terror of human existence. Human existence is a brutal experience to me...it's a brutal, meaningless experience-an agonizing, meaningless experience with some oases, delight, some charm and peace, but these are just small oases. Overall, it is a brutal, brutal, terrible experience, and so it's what can you do to alleviate the agony of the human condition, the human predicament? That is what interests me the most. I continue to make the films because the problem obsesses me all the time and it's consistently on my mind and I'm consistently trying to alleviate the problem, and I think by making films as frequently as I do I get a chance to vent the problems. There is some relief. I have said this before in a facetious way, but it is not so facetious: I am a whiner. I do get a certain amount of solace from whining.
239I think what I'm saying is that I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and that the only thing I can do is my little gift and do it the best I can, and that is about the best I can do, which is cold comfort.
240Whenever they ask women what they find appealing in men, a sense of humor is always one of the things they mention. Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them. So I'm saying to that character played by Goldie Hawn, "Why is that so important?" But it is important apparently because women have said to us that that is very, very important to them. I also feel that humor, just like Fred Astaire dance numbers or these lightweight musicals give you a little oasis. You are in this horrible world and for an hour and a half you duck into a dark room and it's air-conditioned and the sun is not blinding you and you leave the terror of the universe behind and you are completely transported into an escapist situation. The women are beautiful, the men are witty and heroic, nobody has terrible problems and this is a delightful escapist thing, and you leave the theatre refreshed. It's like drinking a cool lemonade and then after a while you get worn down again and you need it again. It seems to me that making escapist films might be a better service to people than making intellectual ones and making films that deal with issues. It might be better to just make escapist comedies that don't touch on any issues. The people just get a cool lemonade, and then they go out refreshed, they enjoy themselves, they forget how awful things are and it helps them-it strengthens them to get through the day. So I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
241[on Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)] Everything wonderful about that movie... is because of the way it was directed. Otherwise, I thought there were flaws in the writing of the movie and flaws in some of the performances of the movie. But the directing of the movie was so bravura and so superb, that it was just a knockout.
242The biggest personal shock to me of all the movies that I've done is that Hollywood Ending (2002) was not thought of as a first-rate, extraordinary comedy. I was stunned that it met with any resistance at all. I thought it was a very, very funny idea and I thought that I executed it absolutely fine, and that I was funny and that Téa Leoni was great. I thought it was a simple, funny idea that worked. I didn't think I blew it anywhere along the line - in performance, in shooting it, in the jokes, situations. When I showed it to the first couple of people, film writers, they said, "This is just great. This is one of the funniest movies you've done." But that's not what the subsequent reactions were. And I was so shocked. I generally don't love my own finished product but this one I did. I don't think many people would, but I would put it toward the top of my comedies. The audience didn't show up. I think if people had gone to see it they would have enjoyed it. But they didn't go to see it.
243[on Ingmar Bergman] He and I had dinner in his New York hotel suite; it was a great treat for me. I was nervous and really didn't want to go. But he was not at all what you might expect: the formidable, dark, brooding genius. He was a regular guy. He commiserated with me about low box-office grosses and women and having to put up with studios. The world saw him as a genius, and he was worrying about the weekend grosses. Yet he was plain and colloquial in speech, not full of profound pronunciamentos about life. Sven Nykvist told me that when they were doing all those scenes about death and dying, they'd be cracking jokes and gossiping about the actors' sex lives. I liked his attitude that a film is not an event you make a big deal out of. He felt filmmaking was just a group of people working. I copied some of that from him. At times he made two and three films in a year. He worked very fast; he'd shoot seven or eight pages of script at a time. They didn't have the money to do anything else. I think his films have eternal relevance, because they deal with the difficulty of personal relationships and lack of communication between people and religious aspirations and mortality, existential themes that will be relevant a thousand years from now. When many of the things that are successful and trendy today will have been long relegated to musty-looking antiques, his stuff will still be great.
244[on Michelangelo Antonioni] I knew him slightly and spent some time with him. He was thin as a wire and athletic and energetic and mentally alert. And he was a wonderful ping-pong player. I played with him; he always won because he had a great reach. That was his game.
245[on Shelley Duvall] She's a true one of a kind. She's so effective on the screen, that if she's cast properly, she's incapable of being anything else but fascinating.
246Retire and do what? I'd be doing the same thing as I do now: sitting at home writing a play, then characters, jokes and situations would come to me. So I don't know what else I would do with my time.
247If they said to me tomorrow, "We're pulling the plug and we're not giving you any more money to make films," that would not bother me in the slightest. I mean, I'm happy to write for the theatre. And if they wouldn't back any of my plays, I'm happy to sit home and write prose. But as long as there are people willing to put up the vast sums of money needed to make films, I should take advantage of it. Because there will come a time when they won't.
248I've never, ever in my life had any interference. I've always had final cut, no-one saw scripts, no-one saw casting. So since Take the Money and Run (1969), I've been spoiled. But recently, at about the time of Match Point (2005), the studios began to behave differently. They started to say, "Look, we like to make films with you and we'll give you the money, but we don't want to be treated as if we're just a bank, putting money in a bag and then just going away. You'll still have final cut and all of that, but we would like to see a script, know who you're casting and be involved in some way." I feel that this is a completely reasonable request, but I just wasn't used to working that way, so I went over to Europe. There's no studio system, so they don't care about any of that stuff. They're bankers. And they're happy to be bankers. They put up the money, you give them the film, and that's what they care about. That worked very well for me on Match Point (2005). So I did it again with Scoop (2006) and Cassandra's Dream (2007). And I made Viki, Kristina, Barselona (2008) in Spain under the same circumstances.
249I'm kind of, secretly, in the back of my mind, counting on living a long time. My father lived to a hundred. My mother lived to 95, almost 96. If there is anything to heredity, I should be able to make films for another 17 years. You never know. A piano could drop on my head. (December 2005)
250[on his least favorite of his own films, Manhattan (1979)] I hated that one. I even made Stardust Memories (1980) for United Artists just so Manhattan would stay on the shelf. And even after those efforts, I still can't believe even to this day how it became so commercially successful. I can't believe I got away with it.
251[on Match Point (2005)] To me, it is strictly about luck. Life is such a terrifying experience - it's very important to feel, "I don't believe in luck, Well, I make my luck." Well, the truth of the matter is, you don't make your luck. So I wanted to show that here was a guy - and I symbolically made him a tennis player - who's a pretty bad guy, and yet my feeling is, in life, if you get the breaks - if the luck bounces your way, you know - you can not only get by, you can flourish in the same way that I felt Marty Landau could in Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989). If you can kill somebody - if you have no moral sense - there's no God out there that's suddenly going to hit you with lightning. Because I don't believe in God. So this is what was on my mind: the enormous unfairness of the world, the enormous injustice of the world, the sense that every day people get away with the worst kinds of crimes. So it's a pessimistic film, in that sense.
252I've been around a long time, and some people may just get tired of me, which I can understand. I've tried to keep my films different over the years, but it's like they complain, "We've eaten Chinese food every day this week." I want to say, "Well, yes, but you had a shrimp meal and you had a pork meal and you had a chicken meal." They say, "Yes, yes, but it's all Chinese food." That's the way I feel about myself. I have a certain amount of obsessive themes and a certain amount of things I'm interested in and no matter how different the film is, whether it's Small Time Crooks (2000) here or Zelig (1983) there, you find in the end that it's Chinese food. If you're not in the mood for my obsessions, then you may not be in the mood for my film. Now, hopefully, if I make enough films, some of them will come out fresh, but there's no guarantee. It's a crapshoot every time I make one. It could come out interesting or you might get the feeling that, God, I've heard this kvetch before - I don't know.
253If I write a film and there is a part in it for me - great. But if I sit down in advance and think, "I'd like to be in this film," or "It's been a long time since I've been in a film so it would be fun to do one," then all of a sudden there's an enormous amount of limits and compromise. I can only play a few things so that compromises the idea instantly. I think Deconstructing Harry (1997) would have been better with Dustin Hoffman or Robert De Niro, for sure. I also tried very hard to get another actor to play the part I did in The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001). I think we tried to see if Tom Hanks was available, and Nicholson. Either they weren't available or didn't want to do it. So I finally played that part. And I shouldn't have, because it wasn't my usual kind of role, and I think that hurt the film.
254I've never felt that if I waited five years between films, I'd make better ones. I just make one when I feel like making it. And it comes out to be about one a year. Some of them come out good, and some of them come out less than good. Some of them may be very good and some may be very bad. But I have no interest in an overall plan for them or anything.
255[on 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)] It was one of the few times in my life that I realized that the artist was so much ahead of me.
256I don't believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
257I never had a teacher who made the least impression on me and if you ask who are my heroes, the answer is simple and truthful: George S. Kaufman and the Marx Brothers.
258It would be a disgrace and a humiliation if Barack Obama does not win... It would be a terrible thing if the American public was not moved to vote for him, that they actually preferred more of the same.
259[on directing an opera] He [Plácido Domingo] said, "What if we do the Puccini trilogy - it's three one-acts that are always done together? The first two, Billy Friedkin will direct. You'll only be responsible for a one-act, a one-hour opera, and it's funny." You know, funny to opera people is not funny to the Marx Brothers.
260[on directing the LA Opera, alongside William Friedkin] I figured, "Eh, I'll be dead before it happens. I'm 72. I'm never going to make it to the opera." But it came around, and next Monday, I start rehearsal. I'll just do the best I can and then get out of town and let them tar and feather Friedkin.
261Ireland's one of the few places that lives up to the hype, that is as beautiful as everyone tells you it is.
262I've made perfectly decent films, but not 8½ (1963), not The Seventh Seal (1957) ("The Seventh Seal"), The 400 Blows (1959) ("The 400 Blows") or L'Avventura (1960) - ones that to me really proclaim cinema as art, on the highest level. If I was the teacher, I'd give myself a B.
263I once thought there was a good argument between whether it's worth it to make a film where you confront the human condition, or an escape film. You could argue that the Fred Astaire film is performing a greater service than the Bergman film, because Ingmar Bergman is dealing with a problem that you're never going to solve. Whereas 'Fred Astaire', you walk in off the street, and for an hour and half they're popping champagne corks and making light banter and you get refreshed, like a lemonade.
264Your perception of time changes as you get older, because you see how brief everything is. You see how meaningless ... I don't want to depress you, but it's a meaningless little flicker.
265I was never bothered if a film was not well received. But the converse of that is that I never get a lot of pleasure out of it if it is. So it isn't like you can say, 'He's an uncompromising artist.' That's not true. I'm a compromising person, definitely. It's that I don't get much from either side.
266I can't really come up with a good argument to choose life over death. Except that I'm too scared.
267My mother always said I was a very cheerful kid until I was 5 years old, and then I turned gloomy.
268[Movies are a great diversion] because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
269I do feel that in everyday life people on a great spectrum get away with crime all the time, ranging from genocide to just street crime. Most crimes do go unsolved, and people commit murders and ruin other people and do the worst things in the world, and, you know, there's no one to penalize you if you don't have a sense of conscience about it. There is an element in life of enormous, enormous injustice that we live with all the time. It's just an ugly-but-true fact of life.
270[Responding to fans, skeptical of his plan to direct an opera] I have no idea what I am doing. But incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
271Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
27280% of success is showing up.
273I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
274I wasn't away. And I'm not back. Match Point (2005) was a film about luck, and it was a very lucky film for me. I did it the way I do all my pictures, and it just worked. I needed a rainy day, I got a rainy day. I needed sun, I got sun. Kate Winslet dropped out at the last moment because she wanted to be with her family, and Scarlett Johansson was available on two days' notice. It's like I couldn't ruin this picture no matter how hard I tried.
275I never wanted movies to be an end. I wanted them to be a means so that I could have a decent life -- meet attractive women, go out on dates, live decently. Not opulently, but with some security. I feel the same way now. A guy like Steven Spielberg will go live in the desert to make a movie, or Martin Scorsese will make a picture in India and set up camp and live there for four months. I mean, for me, if I'm not shooting in my neighborhood, it's annoying. I have no commitment to my work in that sense. No dedication.
276Stanley Kubrick was a great artist. I say this all the time and people think I'm being facetious. I'm not. Kubrick was a guy who obsessed over details and did 100 takes, and you know, I don't feel that way. If I'm shooting a film and it's 6 o'clock at night and I've got a take, and I think I might be able to get a better take if I stayed, but the Knicks tipoff is at 7:30, then that's it. The crews love working on my movies because they know they'll be home by 6.
277For me, being famous didn't help me that much. It helped a little. Warren Beatty once said to me many years ago, being a star is like being in a whorehouse with a credit card, and I never found that. For me, it was like being in a whorehouse with a credit card that had expired.
278I was thrown out of NYU [New York University] for cheating on my Metaphysics final. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
279I'm a practicing heterosexual, although bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
280It's true I had a lot of anxiety. I was afraid of the dark and suspicious of the light.
281Organized crime in America takes in over $40 billion a year and spends very little on office supplies.
282I don't believe in an afterlife, although I'm bringing along a change of underwear.
283My brain: It's my second favorite organ.
284Life is for the living.
285Most of life is tragic. You're born, you don't know why. You're here, you don't know why. You go, you die. Your family dies. Your friends die. People suffer. People live in constant terror. The world is full of poverty and corruption and war and Nazis and tsunamis. The net result, the final count is, you lose - you don't beat the house.
286Man was made in God's image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?
287I always think it is a mistake to try and be young, because I feel the young people in the United States have not distinguished themselves. The young audience in the United States have not proven to me that they like good movies or good theatre. The films that are made for young people are not wonderful films, they are not thoughtful. They are these blockbusters with special effects. The comedies are dumb, full of toilet jokes, not sophisticated at all. And these are the things the young people embrace. I do not idolize the young.
288With my complexion I don't tan, I stroke.
289[on shooting in London, 2004] In the United States things have changed a lot, and it's hard to make good small films now. There was a time in the 1950s when I wanted to be a playwright, because until that time movies, which mostly came out of Hollywood, were stupid and not interesting. Then we started to get wonderful European films, and American films started to grow up a little bit, and the industry became more fun to work in than the theatre. I loved it. But now it's taken a turn in the other direction and studios are back in command and are not that interested in pictures that make only a little bit of money. When I was younger, every week we'd get a Federico Fellini or an Ingmar Bergman or a Jean-Luc Godard or François Truffaut, but now you almost never get any of that. Filmmakers like myself have a hard time. The avaricious studios couldn't care less about good films - if they get a good film they're twice as happy, but money-making films are their goal. They only want these $100-million pictures that make $500 million. That's why I'm happy to work in London, because I'm right back in the same kind of liberal creative attitude that I'm used to.
290When I was in my early twenties, I knew a man who has since died, who was older than me and also very crazy. He'd been in a straitjacket and institutionalized, and I found him very brilliant. When I would speak to him about writing, about life, art, women, he was very, very cogent
  • but he couldn't lead his own life, he just couldn't manage.
291I know it sounds horrible, but winning that Oscar for Annie Hall (1977) didn't mean anything to me.
292I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
293[on the Academy Awards circa 1978] They're political and bought and negotiated for - although many worthy people have deservedly won - and the whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don't.
294Of course, I would love everybody to see my films. But I don't care enough ever to do anything about it. I would never change a word or make a movie that I thought they would like. I really don't care if they come or not. If they don't want to come, then they don't; if they do come, then great. Do I want to do what I do uncompromisingly, and would I love it if a big audience came? Yes, that would be very nice. I've never done anything to attract an audience, though I always get accused of it over the years.
295The sensibility of the film-maker infuses the project so people see a picture like Annie Hall (1977) and everyone thinks it's so autobiographical. But I was not from Coney Island, I was not born under a Ferris wheel, my father never worked at a place that had bumper cars, that's not how I met Diane Keaton, and that's not how we broke up. Of course, there's that character who's always beleaguered and harassed. Certain things are autobiographical, certain feelings, even occasionally an incident, but overwhelmingly they're totally made up, completely fabricated.
296I can bring stars, I've worked with terrific cameramen, but people still have a better chance of making their $150m films because they're not interested in the kind of profits I can bring if I'm profitable.
297The biggest flaw in being self-taught is there are gaps. You self-teach yourself something and you think you know something fairly well, but then there are gaps a university teacher would have taught you as part of a mandatory program. I would probably have been better off if I'd got a better general education, but I was just so bored.
298I was just a poor student. I had no interest in it. When I make a film the tacit contract with the audience is that I will give them some entertainment and not bore them. I have to do that. I just lay a message on them. Great filmmakers, like Ingmar Bergman or Akira Kurosawa or Federico Fellini, they're very entertaining, their films are fun. Well, in college they never made it entertaining for me, they just bored me stiff.
299When I was a kid, movies from Hollywood seemed very glamorous, but when you look back at them as a young man, you can see out of the thousands of films that came out of Hollywood there were really very few good ones statistically, and those few that were good were made in spite of the studios. I saw European films as a young man and they were very much better. There's no comparison.
300I had a line in one of my movies - 'Everyone knows the same truth.' Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it. One person will distort it with a kind of wishful thinking like religion, someone else will distort it by thinking political solutions are going to do something, someone else will think a life of sensuality is going to do it, someone else will think art transcends. Art for me has always been the Catholicism of the intellectuals. There is no afterlife for the Catholics really, and there's no afterlife for the arts. 'Your painting lived on after you' - well, that doesn't really do it. That's not what you want. Even if your painting does have some longevity, eventually that's going to go. There won't be any works of William Shakespeare or Ludwig van Beethoven, or any theatre to see them in, or air or light. I've always felt you've got to live your life within the context of this worst-case scenario. Which is true; the worst-case scenario is here.
301Hollywood for the most part aimed at the lowest common denominator. It's conceived in venality, it's motivated by pandering to the public, by making a lot of money. People like Ingmar Bergman thought about life, and they had feelings, and they wanted to dramatize them and engage one in a dialogue. I felt I couldn't easily be engaged by the nonsense that came out of Hollywood.
302The directors that have personal, emotional feelings for me are Ingmar Bergman and Federico Fellini, and I'm sure there has been some influence but never a direct one. I never set out to try and do anything like them. But, you know, when you listen to a jazz musician like Charlie Parker for years and you love it, then you start to play an instrument, you automatically play like that at first, then you branch off with your own things. The influence is there, it's in your blood.
303There was no ripple professionally for me at all when I was in the papers with my custody stuff. I made my films, I worked in the streets of New York, I played jazz every Monday night, I put a play on. Everything professionally went just the same. There were no repercussions. There was white-hot interest for a while, like with all things like that, and then it became uninteresting to people.
304[on being nominated for an Oscar for Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)] You have to be sure to keep it very much in perspective. You think it's nice at the time because it means more money for your film, but as soon as you let yourself start thinking that way, something happens to the quality of the work.
305[on the Academy Awards circa 1978] I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things -- or who doesn't win them -- you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
306[About the audience] I never write down to them. I always assume that they're all as smart as I am . . . if not smarter.
307[on why he never watches his own movies] I think I would hate them.
308My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
309Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
310If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
311To you, I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
312If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
313Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
314Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill 'em.
315The two biggest myths about me are that I'm an intellectual, because I wear these glasses, and that I'm an artist because my films lose money. Those two myths have been prevalent for many years.
316My relationship with Hollywood isn't love-hate, it's love-contempt. I've never had to suffer any of the indignities that one associates with the studio system. I've always been independent in New York by sheer good luck. But I have an affection for Hollywood because I've had so much pleasure from films that have come out of there. Not a whole lot of them, but a certain amount of them have been very meaningful to me.
317For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
318If my film makes one more person miserable, I'll feel I've done my job.
319[at the Academy Awards in 2002, explaining why he was the one introducing a montage of New York movies] And I said, 'You know, God, you can do much better than me. You know, you might want to get Martin Scorsese, or, or Mike Nichols, or Spike Lee, or Sidney Lumet...' I kept naming names, you know, and um, I said, 'Look, I've given you 15 names of guys who are more talented than I am, and, and smarter and classier...' And they said, 'Yes, but they weren't available.'
320Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
321I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.
322Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
323There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
324Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
325[on films] I can't imagine that the business should be run any other way than that the director has complete control of his films. My situation may be unique, but that doesn't speak well for the business -- it shouldn't be unique, because the director is the one who has the vision and he's the one who should put that vision onto film.
326[when asked if he liked the idea of living on on the silver screen] I'd rather live on in my apartment.
327On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
328[in 1977] This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
329I'm not afraid of dying... I just don't want to be there when it happens.
330I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying.

#Trademark
1Reddish hair
2Short stature
3His unchanging nebbish persona
4Often bases films on his own life experiences
5Stumbling and nervous delivery
6Brooklyn Accent
7References to classic films, particularly the works of Ingmar Bergman
8References to famous writers and literary classics
9His female characters are often free spirited but naive and often come from small town backgrounds
10His films often include opening Narration or the protagonist talking directly to the audience
11Billing his actors alphabetically on opening credits
12From Sleeper (1973) until Cassandra's Dream (2007), almost never has his movies scored, preferring to use selections from his vast personal record collection.
13From Stardust Memories (1980) through Melinda and Melinda (2004), frequently and almost exclusively employs Dick Hyman to contribute musical arrangements, incidental music, and piano accompaniment.
14His thick black glasses, the same type since the 1960s
15His characters (that he plays himself) are often a semi-famous, semi-successful film/tv writer, director, or producer... or a novelist
16His films are almost all set in New York City
17Films his dialog using long, medium-range shots instead of the typical intercut close-ups
18Nearly all of his films start and end with white-on-black credits, set in the Windsor typeface, set to jazz music, without any scrolling.
19A lot of his movies feature at least one character who is a writer. This is often Woody himself.
20Frequently casts himself, Diane Keaton, Mia Farrow and Judy Davis
21Frequently plays a neurotic New Yorker
22Reddish hair
23Short stature
24His unchanging nebbish persona
25Often bases films on his own life experiences
26Stumbling and nervous delivery
27Brooklyn Accent
28References to classic Films, particularly the works of Ingmar Bergman
29References to famous writers and literary classics
30His female characters are often free spirited but naive and often come from small town backgrounds
31His films often include opening Narration or the protagonist talking directly to the audience
32Billing his actors alphabetically on opening credits
33From Sleeper (1973) until Cassandra's Dream (2007), almost never has his movies scored, preferring to use selections from his vast personal record collection.
34From Stardust Memories (1980) through Melinda and Melinda (2004), frequently and almost exclusively employs Dick Hyman to contribute musical arrangements, incidental music, and piano accompaniment.
35His thick black glasses, the same type since the 1960s
36His characters (that he plays himself) are often a semi-famous, semi-successful film/tv writer, director, or producer... or a novelist
37His films are almost all set in New York City
38Films his dialog using long, medium-range shots instead of the typical intercut close-ups
39Nearly all of his films start and end with white-on-black credits, set in the Windsor typeface, set to jazz music, without any scrolling.
40A lot of his movies feature at least one character who is a writer. This is often Woody himself.
41Frequently casts himself, Diane Keaton, Mia Farrow and Judy Davis
42Frequently plays a neurotic New Yorker

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